Me and My Suicidal Brain Cells. And Pumping Heart.

Birthday gift.

2011-11-02T12:26:00.000+08:00

I was Tumblr-ing, pressing the J key down my dashboard, when I came across this perfect idea for a birthday gift for him. One time I told him that I'm gonna give him a bottle of Patron Tequila for his birthday, but he got mad. Haha. He said he doesn't demand like that, and he isn't that materialistic. He said it's too much for a gift. I said (in my head, haha), price is nothing if you like the person. HAHAHAHA!

The idea is this: in a deck of cards, you will write in there the 52 reasons why you like the person. It's a really creative and unique gift without having to spend much. Siguro naman hindi na siya magagalit nito. Haha!

But the thing is, I don't have 52 REASONS why I like him. Like I said before, he has all the things I dislike in guys. I could only name a few things I like in him. Plus, I have to give it to him this december already, because he'll be spending him birthday in California. (By the way, his birthday is on January 6th). ARGH.

Think think think!

Okay lemme start now. I'm going to list it down here, and I'm just goin to update this post if I thought of any.

52 Reasons Why I Like him (and some dislikes in between):

1. Because he likes me
2. I love his accent.
3. He's corny
4. He treated me at Chili's for my birthday
5. He's the first one to give me a pre-birthday treat
6. he reserves seat for me in class
7. he treats me bus fare all the time
8. I enjoy going to the movie house with him
9. his Filipino comprehension and fluency is amazing
10. he calls me often
11. he really did dance the dougie when I taught him how to.
12. He has soft lips
13. His soft hands
14. he remembers little things I tell him.
15. His good memory
16. his intelligence impresses me to the core
17. his study habit motivates me to study harder
18. He knows how to pray
19. He is a Catholic!
20. he plays the freakin piano!!
21. He's not out of tune when he sings unlike my brother haha
22. his straight teeth
23. he's huggable
24. BOO: He smokes
25. BOO: he likes drinking all the time
26. BOO: I can't beat his high score in Fruit Ninja
27. BOO: he hooks up with random girls
28. BOO: he is very untidy
29. BOO: he's heavy!
30. his smooth heels
31. he's taller than me
32. he gave me a shirt
33. he gave me Love Spell, and I wear it everyday
34. we both love sour strips
35. BOO: he didn't go with me at Skechers Streetdance Battle 7.
36. he carried me when I passed out at Joanne's party
37. He drank half of my drink because he knew it was too much for me to handle
38. he sent me a picture of the sunrise
39. he watched Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank with me
40. he told me that I'm good in lab skills
41. he messes with me all the time but I find it cute
42. BOO: I never had the chance to get back at him!!
43. He lets me sleep he has clean nails
44. the way he puts his hands on my waist
45. BOO: he spends too much on alcohol
46. BOO: he doesn't brush his teeth when he's drunk
47. BOO: his place is a jungle
48. BOO: he leaves his dishes in the sink for decades
49. he loves his family
50. BOO: he doesn't cook
51. BOO: He wasn't able to get me the book Looking for Alaska
52. because. I just like you.

OMG I did it! BOOYAH!

Idea of wedding.

2011-11-01T00:43:00.001+08:00

It bothered me for a while that my friends have this idea of their dream wedding and their wedding dresses already, and I have none. None at all. I don't know why I still haven't thought about it. Maybe I'm not yet ready? Maybe I just don't like planning? Maybe anything would fall as my ideal wedding when the right moment comes? Maybe the idea of "wedding" isn't what matters to me, but the idea of getting married to the person you love.

I guess the only idea of wedding I have in mind is that it should be the most memorable day of my life. Bow. Haha. But seriously, whenever I see wedding pictures or anything related to it, it makes me wonder when will I be finding that person whom I will be spending the rest of my life with. Hmm.

I wanna hold hands with you.

2011-10-31T18:22:00.001+08:00

Sorry, this is all I could do. Hold hands with a post card. HAHA!

LOL at the post card message.

Brighter than the sun.

2011-10-29T23:14:00.001+08:00

On the brighter side of life, I'M ALREADY A CLINICIAN! FYEAH!!

Glory to those times I have been losing sleep because of studying. Glory to those inspiration and motivation for me to aim higher. Glory to that person whose studying habit is such a motivation for me to study more, because I don't want to look like a loser to you (that's you, Earl haha).

All hard work has paid off. Time to get the salary! HAHA

Unresolved issue.

2011-10-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

Dear friends (and everyone whose mouths are never shut),

I really don't know why you guys in my college like to fabricate stories that are so fake. To think we are a college that's trained to always be "evidence-based". We have been talked about since the start of the school year by a lot of people, particularly you my close friends, which is kind of odd, because you're my friends. You shouldn't be making stories and spreading around it like wildfire. I mean, duh. You are MY FRIENDS. You should know better than to gossip about me behind my back. :| As far as I know, friends don't do that, well unless you are some fake friend or a hypocrite.

Okay, you have been asking, or bugging me, about me and Earl. I said, there's nothing between us. NOTHING, exactly what I have been blogging since the time in memoriam. Well, I wish I could tell you guys anything (that would be so nice), but heck, there's none. Yes, we are getting closer (in time and space) but that's it. We are just friends. Maybe you see us together most of the time, but have you guys ever considered that Earl and I take the same classes together (fine, in OS and OP only), that maybe we have been talking more than we did before, because we're classmates and we have more things to talk about; that maybe the times that you see us together are the only times we're ACTUALLY together; that he likes me that's why he keeps on sticking with me or texting me or calling me or WHATEVER YOU THINK OF. You could've just asked me for confirmation before you pass around gossip. Maybe I'll appreciate it more if those stories were true. But no. And the worst part? That gossip reached me.

Whoever told you guys that we're holding hands? Whoever told you guys that we're together, as in together? (Ugh I wish. Haha). Whoever told you guys that I'm saying I'm always going to Joanne's place but instead I'm over at Earl's place?
FYI, we never held hands. We were never together. I'm always in Makati, because I'm at Chichi's place.Go ask her.

I'm just sooooo tired of you guys watching my every move, even before Earl surfaced in my life. Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing to look out for your friends. I actually like it, because that means you care and are concerned about me. Apparently you guys do it for the wrong motive. To make stories. Please. STOP. I'm tired of explaining. Why do I actually have to explain to you guys. I don't owe you anything for that purpose. You're giving me bad reputation in school, and I'm sure the professors can't wait for me and Earl to go up the clinics and ask for more hot stuff. Ugh, Dr. Garcia, Dr. Ramos, Dr. Magtanong, Dr. Whoever will surely be teasing me for eternity.

So if you guys still have some care for me, stop it. That's all I ask. If we seem "sweet" to you guys, then just think that Earl is really a sweet person (or I'm just really nice to everyone haha).

In the end, why do I even care about what you think? You have the freedom to say what you want to say. I have no right to hold it against you. But still, think about how your opinions might hurt people. It might be a gun in the head. Thanks.

Hey, November one's coming up! I just hope that endless issue dies on that day.

Frustration and lots of stuff.

2011-09-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, we got our salary from Dr. Sotelo (I got P1600! Yey!), so Chichi, Tesay and I decided to chill at Happy Lemon Rockwell. Chichi said there's nothing to do at Rockwell afterwards so we went to Greenbelt instead. We rode the PVP bus and the ride went for 45 minutes because of the traffic. We got off at Ayala Triangle Garden and walked to Greenbelt. After 30 minutes of walking around and being so indecisive on where to chill, we finally ended at Max Brenner Chocolate. The menu was pricey, but it's all worth it. We stayed there for 3 hours just to discuss about love concerns. It's funny, because weare not that close, but there we were, opening up to each other. Tesay and I were even taking down notes, making a list of things to know about love. We called it MAX BRENNER (Code of Love)

1. Don't be a snob around cute guys.
2. Anna is not a wallflower. We are wallflowers.
3. No slumbook questions please.
4. Always ask for intentions.
5. Text in moderation. Don't nose around.
6. KISS. Keep it simple, stupid.
7. Dress properly. No slippers (?)
8. Don't trust easily. Keep something for yourself and always give doubt.
9. Don't change for anyone.
10. SMILE.

I know it's not deep and it's just nothings. Haha. I don't even know why I wrote it down, and why I posted it here. I guess that's just something to remind me about the things we talked about during those three hours of stay there. Things like, "when will we ever have a boyfriend?" or "How does it feel being on a date?" "How will you know if guys mean what they say, or do as they say?" Guys' actions are really hard to figure out as much as girls'a actions are. Hay.

After that, we went to Glorietta to do window shopping. I had an eye on a lot of shorts in Forever21, but I tried to control myself, because I sometimes tend to be an impulsive buyer. I said I'm going back there when I had the chance.

We went home at around 7:30PM, and I had to walk a long distance just to get a ride. When I arrived home, Earl texted me, asking me where I was. He said I should've stayed in his place that night. I really don't know what's going on in his mind. I even texted him Saturday morning! Why did I ever do that. It's like I'm the one running after him and so (okay fine, a bit.). ARGH. I don't know what to do about him anymore. :|

Suit up!

2011-09-22T21:41:00.001+08:00

I really have a hard time matching clothes. I'm not good at fashion and stuff. I just feel wearing what looks comfy and what looks okay. Haha. Plus, I don't buy my clothes. My mom does, and they're all Zara. Still. They're all useless if not paired up nicely.

Help? :p

Stressed out.

2011-09-22T20:49:00.000+08:00

We just had our last fourth and last exam in Oral Pathology this afternoon. I feel sorry for Earl, he weren't able to answer a lot of questions in the exam, and he feels so bad about it that he said he wants to throw up. I guess that's the thing if you're used to getting good grades and now you got messed up in an exam. He wasn't even in a very good mood yesterday. He didn't join us study at Starbucks-Rufino because he said he needed to focus. I don't know about what he meant about that, if we were too noisy that he can't concentrate, or that he gets distracted with a lot of company. Not that I'm wishing he meant that he can't focus because he'll be thinking of me. WHAT. Haha. Anyway. He still has Endo exam tomorrow, so I hope he'll be able to study for it.

I wasn't able to blog about last week's happening. I slept over Chichi's house last Sunday to study for Oral Surgery 3rd exam. I'm getting used to going to Makati lately. Hmm. :)

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire?

2011-09-14T19:23:00.003+08:00

He called me 20 minutes ago, saying he misses me. Like, whatever! I don't know if he means it, or if he's just trying to make up for yesterday. He said he thought I was in a bad mood yesterday and that I was jealous because he was hanging out with the girl (let's ust call her that way). Of course I denied it, saying that the reason why I texted some one-liners is because I was talking to my bestfriend and I couldn't afford to text long messages at that time. And now he's inviting me to come over at his place tomorrow after we go to the videoke session with my friends. He said we're going to study together.I have to think about it, though I want to, of course.

Double date.

2011-09-14T01:29:00.002+08:00

No, I wasn't in a double date tonight, but he was. Or so I thought. I can't describe how I felt, but I guess it's part sadness and part disappointment. Then it all comes back to the idea that we're nothing, so it shouldn't hurt me. He actually asked me if I wanted to come, but what the hell was I going to be, a third wheel (or a fifth wheel, apparently)? I had the decency to say no, and instead went with my bestfriend Janelle to Krispy Kreme. They were having dinner just beside the shop we were in! ASDFGHJKL. I accompanied Ja there until her mom picked her up. I texted him that I won't be able to join them for a drink after their dinner because I am not really close to them. He said we'll just hang out on Saturday, but I just said "Yeah whatever." I'm going to think about that really hard, because I don't what to jump into another situation I might regret.

And what he told me before keeps on crossing my mind. "~~I like you~~, but I like other girls, too."

Nobody wants to be that spare tire.

Extra cash.

2011-09-12T22:41:00.001+08:00

Today we had a formal lunch meeting with Dr. Sotelo, our new boss. Chichi, Ube, Tesay, Ian, Cristine and I decided to join the Sotelo and Dones Network last week, out of the goodness of our hearts to help lighten the load of Dr. Sotelo (not to mention our desperate want for money haha). Since last week, I have checked 158 test papers and have encoded 132 items on powerpoint. I am that diligent (*barf*).

Zombadings: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington.

2011-09-11T21:33:00.001+08:00

I watched this film last night with my high school friends and Prime as last full show in Robinson's Metro East. I'm no movie critic and I can't perfectly describe the movie, but I must say this film was really funny and trully entertaining from start to end. There's just this one scene where I got really scared; the one where the zombading lying in the morgue changed to a sitting position in the next flash of scene. When it comes to freaky stuff I am weak. Haha.

(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A SPOILER; READ AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE. haha)
The film is about Remington (portrayed by Martin Escudero), a boy who likes to make fun of gays since he was young. One day a gay (portrayed by Roderick Paulate) cursed him, that when he grows up he will slowly become a gay too. True enough, when he got old, he turned into a new leaf day by day, as a masked macho gay haunts him every night. Then, a gay killer surfaced in their town, killing all gays with a "gay-dar". Fearing that he might be next, he tries to hide his new identity by searching for the gay who cursed him a long time ago. They summoned the spirit of a gay, and the spirit said, he can only return to normal if a straight man is willing to take his place as a gay. In the end, his father took his place, the gay killer (who turns out to be Remington's father's drinking buddies) got killed, and the zombadings lived normally in the community.

The highlight of the film I guess was the love scene between Remington and his bestpal Jigs (portrayed by Kirbie Zamora). It was disgusting to see two guys kissing, but yeah, all credits given to those actors. They have portrayed their roles really well.

Nevertheless, my P150 is worth it. The movie made me want to learn gay lingo more. And so I rate this film with 4.5 out of 5 stars. AWAAAARD! :)

Selfishness and overthinking.

2011-09-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

I honestly don't feel that he likes me that much. (OMG here I am making an entry about him again. WHY??) There are times when he texts, there are times that he chooses to do whatevers with his other friends. I know he has other friends to hang out with aside from me, and I'd be too selfish to think that he shouldn't go with them and just stay online and chat with me. The heck, even before he knew me, that was his life. He can't just suddenly stay home and be a homebody like me. Maybe we won't click. We have a lot of differences. The things that he do are kind of disgusting but I can't seem to make that as an excuse to stay away from him. But I can't tell him what to do because we're nothing, and I don't like telling people off. Sometimes I just don't understand myself and the things that happen to me. Why do I have to end up with people who are exactly the opposite of my standards? Maybe I am like Miles afterall; who fell in love with Alaska Young. Which is why I fell in love with the book.

Seatmates.

2011-09-09T00:28:00.000+08:00

We have been seatmates since the start of this semester. It's just cute that he reserves a seat for me, even without me telling him to. It's an automatic thing for him; and his good Persian friend, who he usually sits beside with, understands that the seat next to him is mine. And everyday I look forward to sitting next to him, even if I know he's just either going to mess with me or sleep. It's just weird, I don't even look at him at times and just listen to the lecture, but I just like the fact that he's beside me and all. It makes my heart flutter when I can see from the corner of my eyes that he's looking at me. I hope he can sense that but he never will, of course. He likes me, I like him. But we don't have something in between us, like the fibrin that clumps the platelets together. I wish there is, but he's not ready and I don't think he'll ever be ready because he's gonna be off to the States after graduation.

But the question is, Am I ready? *Sigh*

1:17AM

2011-09-08T01:17:00.001+08:00

Perks of Being A Wallflower.

2011-09-07T21:12:00.003+08:00

I started reading this book last Sunday at 2:00am because I can't find sleep. Geezers this is a good read, even though I'm still on page 24. So far so good. :)

By the way, Emma Watson would play as Sam in the movie next year. Can't wait to see it!

2011-09-07T20:04:00.000+08:00

I was longing to have a hard copy of this book, but my friend Earl (actually the one I was talking about in my previous entry) failed to get me a copy of it from California. I was really sad I never got it. Oh well, I know he was so busy all summer, so yeah.

Anyway, this was one of my favorite quotation from the book, as quoted by Miles, the protagonist.
I will always love Alaska Young, my crooked neighbor, with all my crooked heart.

Things I'll never say out loud PART II

2011-09-07T19:20:00.001+08:00

He chatted with me on the social networking site! I told him I'll tell him comes tomorrow, but he insisted that I tell him off right then and there, and that I should stop messing with him. So there I was telling him everything. But it turned out fine. He wasn't mad, I'm relieved, and we're still friends. Haha.

ME: When you asked me why I like you, it had me thinking actually. The thing is, you have some of the things I dislike in guys so I have no idea why I like you. Not that it's a bad thing though. It's just odd and it's just a shallow thing to say so I just said nothing.

HIM: So you really couldn't think of a reason why you like me but just the features you dislike? Hmmm, that is kinda weird. Haha. But hey you are honest.

ME: Yes I know I'm honest, I just dont like talking much.

HIM: That wasn't so bad Cien.

--
Ugh. Me and my stupid mouth.

Celebrity Crushes

2011-09-07T18:01:00.001+08:00

Paulo Avelino is just hot. I just remembered the indie film Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa that we watched at CCP last July.

Things I'll never say out loud.

2011-09-07T13:17:00.002+08:00

Last night I told someone that I like him. He asked why, but I couldn't find a reason why. He said there must be something that made me like him, but I said I had none in mind. I don't know if I ran out of words, or of things to say, but I really can't think of a particular reason. This also puzzled me until this morning. Can things just come up with no reason at all?
He has everything I dislike in guys. He smokes (cigarettes, sheesha, pot), he drinks a lot (if possible, he can just stay wasted for the rest of his life), he sleeps with random girls, he has cheated with his ex-girlfriends. Maybe there are other bad things he does that I have no knowledge of, and I probably wouldn't want to know. Yes, he's a nice person. He treated me out as a pre-birthday celebration in Chili's; we had a lot of casual movie dates; he bought me my favorite ice cream flavor; we share a lot of common stuff (except for the love of books, which he doesn't have); he waits for me if I ask him to; he always checks up on me and call me randomly on the phone; he keeps messing with me but I can't seem to hate him for that; his intelligence always takes me by surprise; he is a very good son to his parents. I like guys who respect their parents, especially their moms. I just hope he does the same to girls he dates. These are just some of his good points, but if I tell him these, he might think I'm just being shallow. I actually sent him a text message an hour ago, saying, "Can I be honest with you?" He replied, "What is it? Is something bothering you?" Until now I haven't replied back, because I'm too coward to tell him whatever's on my mind now, which is exactly why I wrote this entry.
Will he ever know? I can't tell either. Maybe if he calls and catches me off-guard again, I might spit the truth.

I may be out of my wits, but damn, I like him, and that's all I could think of.

When the waves come rushing in.

2011-08-13T16:33:00.004+08:00

I think I've told this a thousand times already, but, I never really wanted to enter the university I'm currently in. This university is very liberated about anything. I thought I couldn't handle that. I have actually conditioned myself that I wouldn't let the bad things get in the way, that I will come clean all the time. But even the best fall down sometimes, like what Howie Day once quoted in one of his songs. There will always be that moment when you get deviated from your standards and do something you said you'll never do. When things go rushing in like a tidal wave, all you can ever do is to feel it and let the waters push you. You're practically helpless and you felt that you might as well enjoy and surf on the waters while it last. Then, after the waves have calmed down, you've suddenly realized that the waves have swallowed your being. Now you've regretted why you ever gave in to the rush. But for one moment you've enjoyed it, and it'll be one of the crazy things you'll ever do in college. Have fun, regret, remember, smile, cherish.

When people comes judging you, fuck them. For once you've sailed that sea, and you liked it.

Cagayan trip.

2011-04-20T00:42:00.004+08:00

Last friday (April 15), we had to go to our province in Cagayan because we had to attend the burial of my uncle who died last Wednesday. He suffered from kidney and liver failure. It was all sudden, no one knew he had been feeling ill for months. He did not say anything to anyone, maybe because he did not want anyone to worry about him. I feel sad for his family, especially for my Mama Jung (aunt Juliet). I saw that melancholic face trying to struggle for a smile. I wanted to tell her that death is something we should rejoice about, because our uncle is now in a better place, but I couldn't. I just hugged her then.

ENW. Friday morning, I went packing my things for the supposed-to-be 2-day trip. I was packing the whole day because, I was still undecided if I should come or not. Firstly, it's gonna be another fare for me (my mom was trying to save as much money because she has to give money to our relatives there), and secondly, I was thinking of the tutoring hours I was gonna cancel. But in the end, I went with them. I was thinking, if I'm not going now, when will be the next time I'd be going there. I doubt we would go there as many times as before, now that my grandma died 2 years ago. She was the only reason my mom keeps going back there.

Well anyway, at 6pm, we went to the Florida bus station along EDSA to book for a ride. Good thing we do not need any day-before reservations, we just fall in line and get our tickets. At 8:30pm, we got in the bus and the long journey started. So stupid I was, I forgot to bring a jacket and a pair of socks to keep me warm during the ride. The cold was penetrating my cotton shirt and jeans. Good thing we brought some old shirts that we're going to donate to our cousins. I borrowed a long-sleeved shirt. Haha! My mom and I prayed and after that, I tried to sleep. When I woke up, it was pitch black outside already. It was cold and very dark outside. You would tell we are not frequent local bus riders--we didn't prepare for this cold journey ride. No jackets,socks, or blankets. We wouldn't have to think of this if we used our car because we can just regulate the aircon. I couldn't get a straight sleep. I wake up every hour or so, because of the cold.

By the time I'm finally getting my full sleep, we're already there at the bus station. It was 6:30am already, but the air was still cold. Thank you for reminding me that I forgot my jacket and socks! We called up Tito Dick to fetch us there, and he came to the rescue along with 2 of our cousins in tricycles. I rode with tito Dick in his motorbike, and we passed by the bakery to buy pandesal and by the panciteria to buy our breakfast. By the time we got to the ancestral house, we were welcomed by Jaco, ate Kale's baby boy. So cute and chubby, I can just hug him forever.

After dropping our luggages in the house, we went to the wake in the parents' house of my tito, which id near the riverside. I saw Tito Cardo resting peacefully in his coffin. After that, we had a chat with Balong, tito's youngest and only son, about what happened. He even joked that his dad has already been petitioned by his lolo in heaven, who died just this February. He stayed strong because I never saw him cry even during the burial and I admire him for that.

Excerpt.

2010-01-15T21:17:00.000+08:00

The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

2010-01-15T21:16:00.001+08:00

Dahil naka-headphones ako at napakalakas ng No Such Thing ni John Mayer a IPOD, at dahil di ako tumitingin sa left ko habang tumatawid,

AYAN. Muntik nako mabangga ng mabagal sa Avanza. Sa loob ng campus. Just INCHES away. I could feel the wind between me and those headlights. Yikes.

HAHAHAHAHA! :))

Shakey shakey.

2010-01-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

Maxine, Chi and I were at Fig this evening for a study group. DAW. =p then at around 7pm we felt a little earthquake. Yun lang. Haha

Just my luck.

2009-11-04T15:29:00.003+08:00

Last September 26, I had, or should I say, we had the worst experience this 2009. Not just me or my family, but perhaps all of the people residing in Cainta, Pasig, Marikina, Laguna, Taguig, etc. What happened was a living nightmare, and it caught us all off-guard: raging flood. And it took just 30 freaking minutes for the water level to rise up to my height inside our house.

The rain started the night before, and I wasn't at home during that time. It poured relentlessly; it was madly washing the pavements and streets clean of people and cars. My friend and I were oblivious what was happening and what is going to happen, as we were sipping coffee and studying at a nearby coffee shop. I was too busy editing our Nutrition 21 transcription to worry about anything. When we were going back to our place, we complained about the wind blowing off our umbrellas and the accumulation of puddles on the streets. We even joked about acquiring leptospirosis from the waters. But that was all we cared about. I slept at around 3 AM like I was deprived from sleep, and woke up so early the next day. Still the rain poured. I told myself, I'm going home when the rain stops.

Then my cousin called me up, asking the phone number of Gasul, because they've run out of cooking gas at home. She didn't even mention to me that the flood was fast rising. She just said that the water was at the same level as our garage now. Oh no. I calmed myself, it's gonna stay as it is; it couldn't possibly rise up more than that. We never had flood inside our house since 1999. I assured myself, but still something inside me told me that this is different. I looked outside the window; the rain was still there, but it was not hard. I couldn't hear anything louder than the music playing from my ipod. So I continued to study for my exam.

Yet another call from home, but this time it was Prime who called me up. He asked me to go home right away, because the water was at the door already. Now I was alarmed.

Spoiled crepe.

2009-08-30T19:13:00.003+08:00

I was invited in a party with all of my friends. Odd enough, some rich old people in mid-50's invited us there. An haute coutoure-ish atmosphere.
There was a game. Poker. Hmm. Quite a petty game for them, serious gamble for us. Then, some dirty old men started eyeing a few of my friends, getting their names and numbers and started asking about whatever took their fancy.

A fancy dinner served, and we got awfully full. But of course, crepe for dessert! I ate that roll of pancake against my satiety's desire. But halfway eating it, a waiter approached me and pointed at an old man (filthy, should I say). That man in tuxedo beckoned me to the hallway at the back of the entrance of that room. My friends casted concerned looks, but I didn't falter. I walked indignantly towards the entrance and met him there. He scrutinized every inch of me with dirty looks, as if I was filthier than he was. Then I remembered he was the one who fancied one of my friends there at the table. He might have noticed me laughing with her ( I just don't know whether he also noticed me laughing boisterously or talking boloney). It was as though I offended him gravely for doing so.

Then, he started telling me things I don't want to hear (I forgot what he said, maybe because my memory just suppressed it, I don't care) and there was deafening silence even if he kept on talking. I got rooted on the spot, don't know what to do. The crepe I was eating left a spoiled taste on my tongue. I tried my best not to cry in front of him, but hot tears came running down my cheeks.

Then I woke up. 5:30am. My microbio reviewers all messed up beside me. Bad.

...être reconnaissant de

2009-08-08T03:15:00.000+08:00

Things to be thankful for (and I really meant THINGS.)

1. cable-less TV. At least I'm not turning into a couch potato. I'm a dead meat if I do. =|

2. Wireless router. Endless possibilities, plus it gives me yet another good reason for not staying in a dorm.

3. School away from home. I don't get to bring my attitudes at home to school. Haha kidding. I have the chance for exercise everyday. =p

4. 30-minute power nap during LRT rides.

5. Sudoku puzzle book. It keeps me entertained when I'm waiting in line at the dental clinic. Also, behind this was my misplaced orange comb. Yey!

6. Tutoring my brother. I get to refresh some of my HS lessons that were loooong forgotten. haha

7. Headaches and similar sicknesses. It gives me a good alibi for not studying.

8. Divisoria. Great finds at times of shortcomings.

9. People I criticize and dislike. They add spice to my boring life.

10. High-priced gasoline. It reminds me that anything can change overnight. And it teaches me to take the public transpo instead. XD

11. Wind. Cool breeze, and it reminds me that evrything is transient.

12. Faded jeans.

13. Ecclesiastes 7:3. "Sadness is better than happiness, because sadness makes us understand."

14. planner. It keeps me oranized all the time.

15. Restaurant City. It's the only reason I go online. (weh..haha!)

Gusto ko ng Kapitan Sino ni Bob Ong.

2009-06-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

Yung mga gustong magbigay dyan. haha joke=p

bibili ako nito pag me pera nakoooo. =|

Off-topic: naiinis ako sa SONY!! darn my Vaio CS. hahahaha. I just hope the warranty still covers this suspected hardware malfunction. haay. Oh well. What do I know about these computer stuff, anyway? XD

Summer Bummer. Or not?

2009-05-03T09:12:00.000+08:00

My summer vacation started way before the class ended. Well, at least, that was my mindset. I'd been wishing hard enough that summer would come, and that my brain would finally have its rest from all the stress and strain. After a month of exams, and after I stroke my last answer on my Resto exam paper, it was officially summer. Yes!

But I don't think this summer vacation was literally summer all through out. It started raining on mid-April. So unfair. All this raining postponed, or even cancelled, most of our trips and other plans. Hmf.

The rain didn't wash out all my happiness goodbye, because I have other reasons to be happy. One is the arrival of my parents. My mom arrived on March 22, and my dad on April 3. Our family is complete once again. Yey! Also, I'm still happy because I'm having my birthday this summer, and so is my mom. Not that I'm excited to add another 1 on my age, but still. We're complete to celebrate my birthday! :) And to add up to my overall happiness is my ate Precielle's college graduation!

I've always been happy for my ate and my parents. For my ate, because I know she badly wants this. She admits she's not that blessed with brains, but I know she tried her very best to pay the price of walking on the stage at the Manila Hotel. She may not have graduated with flying colors, but at least it's not with dull colors either. haha. And I've been happy for my parents, because I know their sweat and hardwork for ate have all been paid off. Now I realized the worth of my mom's sore hands and feet, and my dad's poor eyesight and sun-burned skin.

On April 10, which is Black Saturday, we hit the road to Manaoag and Tarlac. My mom just wants to visit the Manaoag Shrine after 2 years. I never knew this would be the first and last out-of-town we'll ever have this summer. As I've said, the rain ruined most of our plans. Plus, my parents said they're a bit out of money this time because of payments to be made. I just cared less. As far as I know, the best thing that has ever happened this vacation was when we became complete again. Better than those out-of-towns that my dad thought of.

MY dad's plans made me laugh, because it was almost impossible to achieve it in 3 weeks. haha.

1. Palawan. He said we should go visit his kuya there, but unfortunately, his kuya just died last february. :(

2. Boracay. It's because his friend has a cottage there, and we should all go there. Eh?

3. Tuguegarao. Okay, this was my mom's plan. But after thinking it over, she said it really doesn't matter if we go there or not, because my lola's dead anyway. There's no VERY good reason to go there. hahaha sama ni mommy. =p

4. Bicol. My dad wants to visit his hometown. He hasn't set foot on this place for almost 5 years. And it'll e my 3rd time to go there SANA. Yet another failure. =/

5.Vigan. Okay, this was my plan. I suggested this. haha. I just want to go back there, because I didn't enjoy it totally, when we went there for a fieldtrip.

6.Playa Tropical Resort @ Currimao, Ilocos Norte. Sorry, this was also my plan. hahahahaha! so what? he consented to this. only it was never done. =p

7. blahblahbabhlah. endless list that I forgot and I don't want to write anymore. haha

These are nothing compared to the 5 people eating together 3 times a day, 5 people going to church and shopping for clothes, 5 people praying together, 5 people visiting friend's house, 5 people on the road to eat at Isdaan in Tarlac, me and my dad challenging each other over sudoku puzzles, me and my mom watching House M.D. series together and even sharing comments about it, 4 people laughing at daddy'y silly retorts, me and dad fetching ate from the LRT station or even from Morayta at 11pm, 5 people eating ice cream at midnight, me and my dad throwing jokes and punchlines at each other, 5 people going to the clinic for a facial treatment, mom and dad trying to get each other's blood pressure (I didn't know daddy knows how to use the BP apparatus), me accompanying mom to any place she wishes, and so many more memories. :)

I enjoyed every minute I had with them. Actually, I had the most time with them, because my ate has review classes everyday (including Sundays), and Prime has basketball league to attend to. I was the lucky one. haha. "Nakakalamang ka kila ate mo ah," my dad says. I know. hahahaha!

Since I enjoyed every minute of their presence, it was hard for me to have other things to be busy with, like the piano lessons. Okay, I really really want to have formal lessons on this freaking instrument, but I guess it would be better if it wouldn't reduce my quality time with them. By then we would have less time to go outside. =p Still, my dad found a tutor for me, and although t was against my will, I tried him for one day. Let's try him out. But I had a feeling he won't be of any help at all. And unsurprisingly I was right. No offense, but I think he's nothing compared to Jesse (nax! =D). What a lame tutor. To think that his PF is P350. Argh. I don't want to take it into details, but I swear I won't be asking him to come over here again. Never again!! I just hope that I won't stumble into him anywhere here, because he kept on texting on whether he should schedule my next session tomorrow or the next day, and I kept on ignoring it. I just can't waste my parents' money for a worthless lesson. Agree? :)

Time flies when you're having fun. May 3 and 4 was fast approaching. I hate it, but it has to happen. Because the year won't end without passing these dates. Why do all good things come to an end?

But! But. My busy days doesn't end there. After my dad flew to Qatar on the afternoon of May 4, on the evening of that day, my cousin from US came and stayed here for 3 days. I had to be a babysitter for his 2 kids. And goodness, my english skills was challenged. I had a hard time speaking english rather than typing or writing it. So I got my tongue tied. It was like impromptu speech again. Anyway, I enjoyed it, because I like kids (except those who throw tantrums all the time. I want to literally throw them out of the house. haha!).

And..I'm looking forward to our 4-James reunion, a day with Edrene, and hopefully, clubbing with Sandra and the rest. :) I'm also looking forward to the release of Sims 3 this June!!! :)

HULI KA.

2009-02-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

********************************************************************************************************************************************

ARGH. major disaster.

bakit lagi akong nahuhuli? sheesh. di ako magaling magtago. masyado bakong obvious? di ako mapagpanggap. pero nahuhuli padin ako. shyet.

I HATE THIS.

sweeeeetest best friend.

2008-12-19T23:06:00.004+08:00

Today. I was excited about this day because of a thing written on my wishlist. Someone's gonna give it to me.

I never knew he'd know about my wishlist, that I wanted a planner this Christmas. As far as I knew him, he never reads any of my blogs, my posts, etc. He's damn too lazy to read, he rather call me and ask what's up. But last night as I was heading home from my cousin Em's debut, he texted me if he can call at home. I told him I'm still at the LRT Santolan Station and I won't be home until after 30 mins. And he told me to ride safe. Aww. I thought I was going to have a hard time getting a ride, because it's already 11pm and jeeps were all full. But thank God, an empty fx came and I jumped in first. YES. In 15mins I was in Vista Verde already. I texted him that I'll be calling him in 10mins, because I was going to walk from the gate to our home. When I reached home, he called me. Haha, he really can't wait, eh? Then he said he's going to give me his planner, since he can't finish16cups of Starbucks coffee til the 25th (cos it's the 18th already) for my planner. Aww again. He's willing to give his own planner to me. argh. what a life. He told me he'll be dropping by at 1pm the next day to give it to me. And he hung up.

And so I can't wait til it's 1pm. Man, he arrived at 2pm (which is forgivable because he was with his 2 friends in a car) and handed me the planner, in a box. Shoooooot. I LOVED IT. I love him for giving me this. I love him for being the sweeetest best friend I could have. I love him for being as he is: Weird, brutal, sarcastic, egotistic, and thoughtful Mike.

**
kala ko tuloy nakalimutan na niya tlga ako. *sob* di pa pala. napaka-random lang tlga niyang tao. haaay buhay.

(PHOTO CAPTION: he's with Joana, his girlfriend :D )

twilight bits.

2008-12-06T23:14:00.005+08:00

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" He matched my pace again.
"I don't see how that is any of your business." Stupid shiny volvo owner.
"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."
(Twilight, 2005)

Shux. I really like offered rides..:x

"Aren't you hungry?" He asked, distracted.
"No." I don't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full of butterflies.
(Twilight, 2005)

Shuxxx. I love butterfly feelings.haha! XD

learning Korean.

2008-12-06T17:55:00.002+08:00

I would really LOVE that somebody teach me hangeul, or korean language. Man, I need to learn a third language other than english, and filipino!!

I've had korean classmates in HS and now, but I can't find the guts to ask them to teach me. so I'm doing some self-teaching. haha!

sarang habnida - I like you, crush kita

rationale.

2008-12-03T20:27:00.005+08:00

everything has its reasons. And I had some realizations just days ago.

I've realized that I always eat my words. I've been swallowing it since I was in grade 5. It taste bitter and sour. But I totally like it. It's only then that I get to learn from my mistakes. And words are my only line of defense from anything threatening. I don't care if it hurts, as long as it doesn't hurt me any longer.

I've realized that I'm not the most miserable person person alive. I've realized that it's healthy to be a loser sometimes, because it's when you get to prove yourself that you're not. Remaining a cryer or whiner or loser is suicidal.

I've realized that friends need to have a major argument in order to have a better understanding of each other. It's like having a gum stuck on your hair; you'll never know how adhesive a gum could get with your hair until it gets stuck there. Then you'll find ways to remove it, and find ways not to repeat the same mistake again.

I've realized that we can't all be freakishly strong (New Moon, 2005). But we could try.

---

OFF-TOPIC: I've noticed that my brother, as early as 13yrs old (last year), he was already keeping track with current news. Sometimes, we could just chat about GMA and get satisfied. I could see that he could be very good in that when he reaches college. go Prime!

EMO ako ngayon.

2008-11-25T21:34:00.004+08:00

May karapatan akong maging emo, kasi di ko na kaya. gustong gusto ko na sumuko dati pa. bakit ang tanga ko, pinipilit ko pa din kahit alam kong hindi ako si superman.

diba ang gulong pag laspag na, nafflat at nabubutas din? yung lobo din, pag masyado nang mataas ang pressure sa loob, pumuputok din. masama pala magalit. wala akong karapatan. sana di na lang ako pinanganak na nagagalit, para wala na lang nasasaktan.

Ang bata ko pa para mamroblema sa bills at pambaon ng ate ko at kapatid ko araw araw. Tapos mamamatay ako kakaisip. Tas madadagdagan pa ng acads. Tapos ngayong pati ng kaibigan? Tama na.

Malapit nakong maglaslas. Pero di ako tanga shempre. hihintayin ko na lang mag-nervous breakdown ako, para walang dugo. di pako makokonsensya. db?

yung bestfriend ko, nagpapatulong sakin sa problema ng gf niya. shet. dumadami na problem list ko. sana de-memory card na lang talaga yun utak, para di ako mag-hang. tska sana ako naman kamustahin ni mike. minsan nagseselos na tuloy ako sa gf niya. ganun ba role ng isang bestfriend? shock absorber? ganun ba ang pagkakaibigan, one way communication? di ba pwedeng two way, para pwede akong mag-return call sa kanya?

ako na lang lagi inaasahan.haha. pinagkakatiwalaan nila ako. nakakataba naman ng puso. kaso konti na lang mababalutan na ng cholesterol puso ko. parang ayoko na tuloy maging mabait. bad for the health pala.tsk.

buti pa ang yosi, it comes with a warning. try ko kaya? may warning naman e.

pwede bang humirit ng problema? ako naman pakinggan niyo. huy. tao din ako no. nasasaktan din. di ako crab, wala akong CaCo3 shell.

kung iipunin ko ang luha ko sa buong talambuhay ko, siguro di na namin kelangan magbayad ng water bill. lifetime supply na to, pare. at ang maganda dun, mababawasan na ng isa yung bills na kelangan kong bayaran at pagpilahan. nangangawit na kasi ako kakatayo at kakahintay e.

iintindi na lang ako parati, baka sakaling maintindihan ko kung bakit ganito nangyayari sakin ngayon.

shet. may lahi pala kaming sakit sa puso. yung kapatid ko meron na e. tama na nga, baka matuluyan pako e. dami ko pa gusto gawin.

Oh please Lord gawin mo nakong manhid. itutulog ko na lang to. good night.

--

ayoko ng awa, gusto ko ng saya.

A slap to the face.

2008-11-25T16:25:00.004+08:00

Those who do not say sorry are insulting our capacity to forgive.

It was indeed a slap to my face when they refused to admit it and even walked out of the room. I was deeply insulted by the way they acted, considering they are my friends. All I was asking was their apologies for what they have done yesterday. I needed their apologies, because I was humiliated in front of a lot of people, and insulted as well. For crying out loud, it was like I was so desperate for that certain someone, which is totally not the case. Hello?! WTH. No offense to that guy, but I just got tired of being teased to him, and having to let it pass by. Of course, I can get on with the joke, but if it gets too much, it's but right to get mad, right? I have all the freaking rights to get mad.

Is saying sorry a very difficult thing to do? Does it hurt one's pride? I am a person who easily get mad, and at the same time, hindi ako yung taong nagtatanim ng sama ng loob. Your sorry is all I wanted to hear. Please parang awa niyo na, madami nakong problema, wag niyo nang
dagdagan pa. Friends ko kayo, at ayokong may iniiwasan sa school parati. Hindi maganda talaga. Pero kasi nakasakit kayo, isn't it but right that you owe me an apology?

dead beat.

2008-11-23T03:28:00.002+08:00

"Edward," she mumbled softly.
She was dreaming of me.
Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about
to.

- Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun Chapter 5

--

I got this from Lovely's page. yea, I've read this line not so long ago, but it was her idea to put it on a blog post. sheeeeeesh. I'm really dying to see my own Edward Cullen..=s Actually I have these people in mind which could pass as my E.C., but I doubt it that they would reciprocate whatever emotions I'll be throwing at them. Besides, I'm not really into them. I just, like them around, I feel happy and bouncy when I see them or get to hear from them. But, honestly I'm not yet in love. I don't know how to distinguish if it's really love already or not. Maybe I'm not ready for it. It's ok. I don't really need attachements right now. What I need are some kilig factors. haha! Bring them on!

ano nga kaya?

2008-11-23T02:28:00.003+08:00

ano kaya kung nagsulat ako ng tagalog ngayon?

ano kaya kung naintindihan pala ako ng mga foreigners?

ano kaya kung nabaliw ako? dadalawin kaya ako ng mga kakilala ko sa mental? matutulad din ba ako sa mga cadavers na dina-dissect namin ngayon sa Human Anatomy?

ano kaya kung may kapatid akong babaeng bunso? magagaya din ba sya sakin na puro hand-me-downs ang gamit?

ano kaya kung may kuya ako? magiging aloof ba sya sakin or magiging mabait at maalagang kuya?

ano kaya kung hindi ako nag-aral sa UP? magbabago ba ugali ko? macuculture shock din ba ako sa DLSU at CEU kung sakali?

ano kaya kung may third eye ako? makakatulog ba ako tuwing gabi?

ano kaya kung natutuyo pala ang utak?

ano kaya kung hindi ako pinanganak as precien?

ano kaya kung lalaki pala ako? ganun din ba itsura ko?

ano kaya kung hindi ko nakilala si God? ano kaya ang feeling ng mga atheist?

ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng isang taong grasa?

ano kaya ang feeling ng isang Gloria Macapagal Arroyo?

ano kaya kung naipanganak pala akong anak ng isang bilyonaryo? may mairereklamo pa ba ako sa mundo? may maisusumbat pa ba ako?

ano kaya kung sinimulan kong matulog ng maaga ngayon?

ano kaya kung nagpahaba ako ng kuko sa daliri?

ano kaya ang masasabi ng mga langgam sa mga ant bullies?

ano kaya kung reversible ang panahon sa tuwing pinipihit ko ang alarm clock?

ano kaya kung hindi ako nasanay na may wristwatch?

ano kaya ang feeling ng isang taong bobo?

ano kaya ang feeling ng mawalan ng aso?

ano kaya kung nauubos ang luha? dugo na kaya or cerebrospinal fluid ang nailuluha ko sa tuwing trip kong umiyak?

ano kaya ang feeling ng laging hinahabol ng mga tao?

ano kaya feeling ng isang crush ng bayan?

ano kaya ang feeling ng maging bulag?

ano kaya ang feeling ng may magulang na laging kasama sa bawat araw na ginawa ng Diyos?

ano kaya ang feeling ng hinahatid ng magulang sa skwelahan?

ano kaya kung naging rebelde ako? may mapapatunayan kaya ako sa mundo?

ano kaya kung hindi nga ako naging iskolar ng bayan? maipagmamalaki pa rin kaya ako ng mga tao sa paligid ko? mapapansin pa kaya nila ako?

ano kaya kung naging right-handed ako? e kung naging ambidextrous?

ano kaya feeling ng makapatay ng di sinasadya?

ano kaya feeling ng makabangga ng tao?

ano kaya feeling ng humihingi ng pambaon sa magulang araw araw?

ano kaya feeling ng inaabutan ng magulang ng pera at hinahalikan sa pisngi bago pumasok ng eswelahan?

ano kaya kung hindi na lang sa malayong lugar nagtatrabaho ang magulang ko?

ano kaya kung hindi si michael ang naging bestfriend ko? or si edrene?

ano kaya kung nagkagusto kasin si kuya jayson labarette? or si ryan?

ano kaya kung nakapulot ako ng isang maletang may 1M cold cash?

ano kaya kung nabuhay akong isang jeepney driver?

ano kaya kung naging magnanakaw ako?

ano kaya kung naka-dorm ako ngayon? mas hahaba ang oras ko sa pagtulog o sa pag-aaral?

ano kaya kung namatay ako sa edad na 25? NBSB parin kaya ako bago sa edad na yan?

ano kaya kung de-memory card ang utak? makakailang MMC kaya ako sa buong talambuhay ko?

ano kaya kung inumin ko ang isopropyl alcohol? deds na ba ako kagad?

ano kaya kung dengue hemorrhagic fever pala yung sakit ko dati? may dadalaw na ba sakin nun?

ano kaya kung sumikat ako? magiging miserable ba buhay ko o magiging mala-preso ang buhay ko?

ano kaya kung pipi ako?

ano kaya ang feeling ng nakalibot na sa buong mundo?

ano kaya ang feeling ng nalulunod? e ng nasunugan?

ano kaya kung natuto ako ng arabo nung bata ako?

ano kaya kung arab citizen pala ako?

ano kaya kung nabuhay ako sa makeup?

(ipagpapatuloy)

fixing a broken heart.. :x

2008-11-15T03:51:00.002+08:00

As I was heading home a while ago at around 6:30pm, I ran into kuya Jayson, my ultimate crush in HS. Both of us were falling in line at the FX terminal which heads to Vista Verde. The moment I saw his face, my mind sort of traveled back to the past, at the time when I was head over heals over this guy. Haaay. It reminded me of how he became my crush...

I was in 3rd year HS back then. At around 4-5pm in the afternoon where most of the students have gone home, I was walking down the corridor when I happen to pass by the IV-James classroom. I heard this sweet melodic voice that sang one of my memorable song when I was a kid. He was singing these lines, "you really know where to start, fixing a broken heart. you really know what to do. Your emotional tools can cure any fool whose dreams have fallen apart..fixing a broken heart.." I halted, my breathing stopped short, and before I knew, I was already peeking through the open door to see who owns that voice. And I saw kuya Jayson, smiling while singing in front of a classmate. I was mesmerized; his voice is as sweet as his smile and face. And I swear I was rooted on my spot. Haaay.

I would never forget that moment. It melts my heart like an ice cream in the sun. He even had a chat with me a while ago! Sheesh. He's not like the others who would just greet you with "hi's" and "hellos". He smiled at me, breaked the ice, and even asked how I was doing. Oh my.

He is my local brand of heroin. He is my version of Edward Cullen. :x

wiiishlist 2008

2008-11-15T03:41:00.001+08:00

(yun iba inulit ko lang from last year, kasi hindi pa nagkatotoo. haha malay natin ngaun matupad na. XD)

1. Youngblood 1 and 2 padin. huhu. T_T

2. Kiko Machine Komix 1,2,3. padin. sheesh. pero un blg.4 nabili ko na.haha

3. a trip to Limitado, Tado's ultimate shop in Calumpang, Marikina. who wants to come with me? unga pala, who knows how to go there?ü --garabe nadadaanan ko na to lagi pero di pa din ako pumupunta at bumibili. T_T

4. watch Twilight and UPCAT the Movie!

5. ~~buy and watch HOUSE.~~ seasons 3-5 na lang!

6. ~~give AJ his gift. haha=) pramis ko sa kanya un for his birthday pero sabi nia sa december nlng daw. pero let's see.;p~~

7. Twilight series.

8. bob ong's books.

9. Harry Potter book 7. how pathetic. I haven't read this yet. T_T

10. sweater.

11. ASUS notebook or Macbook Air. harhar >=)

12. backpacks. bodybags. round sportsbags.

13. trip to Europe.ü

14. ~~FREE tix for Skechers Streetdance finals. sa Nov 23 na!~~ - binilhan ako ni mike! di nga lang free..=s

15. lose 1in from my waistline that I gained over this sembreak. para di na puputok ulet un uniform ko! hahahahaa! XD

16. trip to Oceanarium. d padn ako napupunta dun. pathetiiiic!

17. a 2009 monthly planner.

18. a day with my bestfriends. ICE SKATING! or munch some donuts sa Krispy Kreme sa GH.

19. meet Karl. haha! sige na, pakita mo na samin si Karl!;p

20. The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Let's see how a sadist or an evil define things as they are. - wala padn ako mahanap nito!

21. Korean lessons. hahaXD adik!

22. Japanese lessons. darn it, Irish and I saw an ad along Padre Faura and all the while I thoughh it's cheap, but when we computed the tuition again, it costs P8000!! heck.

23. a car?ü in my wildest dreams.haha

24. ~~Cooking Dash.~~ - papahiramin ako ni aj! huhu! :)

25. umbrella.

26. food for the gods. maybe a box?ü -si Irish di padn ako binibigyan nito.haha

27. coin purse. nagsabi nako sa mga classmates ko na pag magreregalo sila, or pag nabunot nila ako sa pasko, eto nlng. haha!

28. 8gig USB.

29. Chicken Soup for the Soul. any kind.

30. Pilot retractable refill. worth P100. hahaXD

31. wallet na hindi nauubusan ng laman (Kamikazee, 2006).

32. P500 Globe prepaid load.

33. more hugs! (hugs: 2)

34. to witness a miracle.

35. to see a fireworks display. again!

36. wristwatch.

37. pamaypay. ung matibay ha! haha XD lagi nlng ako nasisiraan ng pamaypay e.

38. typodonts! madmaing madami! ;p or kahit isang piraso lang. malay mo, dadami mgbibigay sakin sa pasko.haha!XD

Yey! It's sem break!

2008-10-20T21:03:00.004+08:00

So, what do I do this sem break? Actually, before the semester ended, I was already listing down all the things I want to do and have to accomplish during the break. I realized that too much sleeping this sem break would just give me headaches. Duh.

First off, I decided to fix my closet, since I've been to lazy to fix it the whole semester. Now is the time. Haha. Plus, I thought of sticking some quotes and Bible verse on the doors so it would look colorful and so that it would remind me of things. ^^

I've already fixed my files and papers and filed them in labeled brown envelopes. That's been a habit of mine every end of the semester. It's so that there would be less trash around.hahaXD

I've already finished watching the Korean drama Three Dads One Mom on www.mysoju.com! I liked it! what a fulfillment.haha

Tomorrow I'll vacuum our car's interiors. It's been like forever since I've done a favor for my dad.Haha. Lazy kid.:p

The rest of the list is here:

2. meet up with Mike and Eds
3. clean the room
4. arrange shoes
5. wash shoes (or should I say, let the maid wash it for me? haha)
6. watch Detective Conan the Movie
7. wash/sew bags

HAAY. got to accomplish them all!!

see the pics HERE.

My favorite episode.ü

2008-10-18T17:10:00.002+08:00

@ Yahoo! Video

Episode 14 of Three Dads and One Mom Korean drama ^^

My first ever dentures.

2008-10-18T10:18:00.004+08:00

I'm so proud of my first semester projects. I have a lot of fun doing these stuff in our laboratory class in Dental Materials and Oral Anatomy. This is what makes dentistry a lot more fun than doing paperworks? I guess so. Haha. I just don't like too much paperworks; I'd rather do those. And it makes me a dental technician. Haha kiddingXD

I'm definitely going to finish my course, no matter what!

more pics HERE.

equal share?

2008-10-11T15:22:00.003+08:00

Okay.

A husband in Cambodia said, "Let's divorce." "Okay."

I had a laugh about this news article I saw on Yahoo homepage. Is this what we call fairness and equality nowadays? Haha. They've taken their "halves" away, LITERALLY. I wonder how many more couples are into this dilemma?;p

They sure have a point, though. hahaXD

I'm just sooo friggin tired.

2008-09-30T23:33:00.002+08:00

Life ain't playing fair for me. Right now. Why can't I just escape from my responsibility to look after my brother who doesn't even want to be taken care of and monitored at all? Why should I even waste my precious time worrying about that stupid kid who doesn't want to go home?

Heck. It's not even MY responsibility in the first place to monitor my brother's every move, so why should I? I'm just doing my parents a favor, because they're far away. But don't I have the right to get tired? Can't I just sleep now instead of waiting for my brother to come home?

I'm being good here. I'm tring my best to be a good daughter to my parents, good friend to all. I'm half a liar, but I know how to behave myself in such responsibilities. Do I deserve to be sandwiched in the middle? Do I deserve to be pushed to my limits? Do I deserve to handle the pressure that's not supposed to be on my shoulder, but on my elder sister instead? Should I be held responsible for ALL that's happened and is happening right now? WHY?

I hate this life.

Avril Lavigne vs Haley Williams?

2008-09-20T02:54:00.005+08:00

Haha. I didn't know there exists such a rivalry:p

I liked Avril's songs since 1st year HS, and her voice is really awesome, not to mention her ability to play the guitar and write her own songs as well.

I do also admire Hayley's voice and the songs she sings.

I guess in terms of voice quality none of them shines above the other. Only that, in terms of musicality, Avril does it better. Ain't it?;p

Reasons why ditching is healthy.

2008-09-20T02:54:00.002+08:00

last monday, I went to the UP Health Service in PGH to acquire an excuse slip for my 3-day absence last week. This was because my Oral Histology professor required that I get that friggin' slip in order for me to make up for my missed exam. Her condition is that I will take up the final exam and she will credit it twice, so I can have 5 exams in total. Pretty lame, but it can do. At least I don't have a grade of 5.0 on my 3rd exam. sheesh.

anyway.

I decided to ditch Oral Anatomy rather than Dental Materials because I'd be lagging more in doing my acrylic denture than doing my occlusion. I can do the occlusion at home, but the denture requires the supervision of my..eherm..adorable professors in dentmat. SO there, at 1pm I headed towards PGH and to my utter dismay, the lights were off when I reached the clinic. But still I entered the double doors and approached the nurses' station to ask why the heck are the lights off. Nah, it's all in my mind back then. I just told the nurse I'll be getting an excuse slip from them, and she said that I need to wait for a while or just come back later because the doctor would be arriving in 30 minutes. I chose to just wait because it could take me about 10 minutes to go back to the college and another 10 min to return there. It would consume my time and my fats as well. So I'd settled for comfort--I sat there and waited. Hmm. It's too quiet; I'd better study for oral anatomy exam the following day. The occlusion part bored me to death that it made me sleepy. I woke up after 30 min and I found some company. There were 2 or 3 people with me in the clinic--probably up for the check up as well--but no sign of the doctor. Heck. I've been idling around for 45 min. I should've attended at least the last lecture on blood supply instead of lingering there for nothing. Oh well. Instead of internally ranting, I resumed on reading the occlusion lecture. After about 5 min, the nurse finally called my name. YES! But the nurse just handed me my folder and gestured me to the seat near the station.

nurse: sige, lipat ka dito tapos hintayin mong matawag pangalan mo. Wala pa kasi yung doctor e.

Aaargh. It;s past 2pm already. My ditching isn't healthy anymore. I should've stormed out of that room, but my lazy feet rooted my body to where I was so I stayed. Geez, I've had too much laziness since I got confined at the hospital last week. Hmf. I waited in vain. Tick tock tick tock. Since I was too bored to study and I was too lazy to go back to the college, I decided to formulate the some reasons why ditching is healthy, just so that my conscience would be free of guilt for staying there and skipping oral anat.

Reasons Why Ditching is Healthy

1. you excuse yourself from class because you need to go to the clinic, whether excusable or not.

2. you get to be saved from hours of lecture and laboratory

3. you get some lame excuse to idle around.

4. you get to study for an exam tomorrow.

5. you get to chat with your biochemistry professor about health problems and personal life (yea, Ma'am Lirazan was also there, to check up for her throat and asthma concerns)

6. you get to sleep, or should I say, get forty winks while waiting for the freakin' doctor to realize that he/she is needed at the clinic.

I had no choice but to chat with Ma'am Lirazan because she knows me by the face and she liked to talk about her newly licensed son who is now a resident at PGH. After for what seemed like forever, at around 3:30 the doctors finally came (yehey with sarcasm). Good thing I was the third in line, so I was able to finish earlier than the rest. Hmf. By the time I reached the college, it was already 4:00 and I sheepishly asked Roxan if I was too late to attend oral anat. So stupid I was, I insisted on entering the auditorium, just to peek and get my lab kit from Nuelle. Aviane or Ube told me that the exam results were already given and I approached Dr. Sunico for my paper. It was a good thing after all, to still attend the subject. Geez.

Should I hate Jacob Black or not?

2008-09-20T02:54:00.000+08:00

pity or hate. I don't know. heck. Why should Stephenie Meyer have to play with her reader's emotions? haha

but this is what makes the Twilight series a lot addictive than Harry Potter. No offense, I'm a Harry Potter fan as well, though not as much as before.

Gosh. Should I really hate Jacob for being a werewolf? for being Bella's bestfriend? for imprinting on Renesmee?

Or should I pity him for being at Bella's side no matter what? for going against Sam's pack for the sake of Bella and the Cullens? for allowing Bella to be transformed into a vamp?

Heck. Ewan ko naa. I'm really into the novel, that's for sure. Yes, maybe Marc and AJ are right about the predictability of the novel, but for all I care. I hate it but I love it. hahaXD

"...but I can't fight with an eclipse."

-Jacob Black

It's a twilight evening afterall.

2008-08-21T01:37:00.002+08:00

Friday, Aug15

I was reading Mox's Twilight in the car while my Tita and I cruised on the road towards NAIA. With A Walk to Remember OST playing on the background, it was so hard not to indulge myself in the story, in spite of my Tita trying to make a conversation with me. Sorry tita, your story has to wait. Anyway. Mommy was coming home that day, due to unexpected death of my lola last Wednesday morning. Well, it really wasn't unexpected; in fact, 3 weeks ago she refused to talk anymore, and wasn't able to move and carry herself anymore. she wasn't walking, but what kept her going from one spot to another was her arms. She used to transfer two chairs at a time--she was transferring from one seat to another, carrying all the weight of her body on the palm of her hands. that was because she refused to let others carry her wherever she went. She doesn't like people around her to assume that she is weak and pity her. That was very strong of my lola, one thing I really admire about her. And then the night before she died, she had a fever. The next morning, she didn't wake up. In the end, she was peacefully rested, and that's how I would want to die.

At around 1:20am we set off to Cagayan to see her. We arrived there at 130pm in the afternoon, just in time for the fiesta going on. Hey, its was fiesta, yet there were two houses mourning over their loved ones. Nevertheless, we tried not to mourn, but enjoyed the fiest, as if our lola was enjoying it as well. I enjoyed every minute of my stay there, because I'm only going to stay there til sunday night. So I won't be able to attend the burial of my lola on Monday morning. Sigh.

I was my first time to ride the super deluxe Florida bus on my way home to Manila. I set off earlier than my family, who's gonna stay til Monday morning to bring our lola to her resting place at 9am. I felt guilty for not attending and bid my last goodbye to lola. Instead, I headed home because I'm thinking of my exams on Oral Anat and Biochemistry. Good thing I was able to bring my study set of teeth and some of my HOs, so I was able to partially study in OA. Yet I haven't studied a bit in Biochem, which really made me irritated and anxious. I hope lola, wherever she is right now, would understand my situation right now. It's choosing between a rock and a hard place. Tsk. Though I don't regret coming ot Cagayan, cos I was able to see my lola for the last time, saw my known and unknown relatives there, and unwind from the busy life in Manila. Gee, I was surprised how LARGE the Samonte clan was. Plus I was able to see tito Geary Barias again. He's my mom's bestfriend and childhood friend. sigh.

I can't wait til December, so we could go back to Cagayan and see them once again.

things I DESPERATELY want to do:

2008-08-09T22:21:00.002+08:00

1. buy DVDs in Quiapo. Yea, yea I know I'm patronizing piracy and I'm not really proud of it. But still. These days, it's practicality that's important. How many meals can you have in P800 worth of DVD? Would you risk your hunger for a plaque? Besides, I'm buying foreign series, so I THINK it won't affect our er.. economy? haha I dunno;p I'm planning to buy House, CSI Miami ang NY, Grey's Anatomy.

2. be THRIFTY. Magtipid. Heck. bakit hindi ko to magawa?? T_T I really can't control myself in spending too much on food even if I'm not that hungry. You know what I mean. Kaya ba hindi rin ako pumapayat e. Haha. I do idolize Galen Wong Gan. Wishing I could be like him.Grr..

3. stop this manana habit. I should be studying oral histology now but apparently I;m in front of the PC. Heck.

4. be happy.

5. find a new crush that would last long. How many times have I changed crushes since HS? Man. The last crush I had (which lasted for like 4 years) was Jayson Labarette. He's just too good to be true--he sings so heavenly, dance so well, excels in studies, very God-fearing, and shempre, super gwapo!! haha kung hindi lang sya nagka-gf e.hmf. enw.

that's all for now. my brother needs this Pc more than I do. Heck. He's blabbering behind me right this moment. So, til next time.

We are the UPCD batch 2012.

2008-08-09T09:00:00.002+08:00

54 students. 5 drowning boys in the sea of 49 girls.

now where am I? I'm at the 2nd row from the top, at the rightmost part.haha

it's all about dengue and my dorm.

2008-08-09T08:40:00.002+08:00

person 1: san ka nagdodorm?
cien: diyan lang, tabi ng Meralco Bldg sa Ortigas.
person 1: sa Luntala???
cien: ngek. hindi. mahal dun e.
person 1: saan?
cien: sa Rm 909, Podium Tower, The Medical City, Pasig City. hahaXD

wth.

I'm not gonna miss Prime's dengue, but my "dorm" there. I've been there for about a week long.=D ganun pala feeling ng naka-dorm..
~puro preservatives
~chips for breakfast
~limited clothes
~same food everday
~way closer to school compated sa bahay. ang byahe ko is 30-45mins lng sa umaga. I only take a bus ride papuntang PNU then jeep.

eto pang mga naexperience ko dun:
~maging yaya ni Prime (taka-pakain, etc.)
~makita si Dolphy. may dengue din kasi un apo nia.. sayang di ako nagpapic kay lolo Dolphy!!
~mag-aral sa lobby na pinagtitinginan ng mga nurses.
~maghintay ng vacant elevator ng napakatagal.
~maging friends sa mga nurses dun (kasi nurse un pinsan ko dun e).
~natutong abusuhin ang microwave oven.haha
~natutong manood ng TV ng 3hrs straight na hindi ko ginagawa sa bahay.
~nanood ng CSI NY at Miami imbes na magaral nlng para sa dentmat exam.
~napanood ko na lahat ng music vids sa MTV, paulit ulit na nga lang.
~nanood ng Night at the Museum at Happy Feet.
~hindi makapaginternet ng one WHOLE week.(kaya hindi makuha ung files na inupload ni chellie)
~makita si Benjie Paras na sobrang tangkad at palakad lakad sa buong corridor(dahil ang anak rin nia ay may dengue)
~abusuhin ang aircon. haha sa bahay kasi, sa gabi lng kmi ngaaircon. e dun, 24hrs! haha

basta kakaibang experience. hindi naman totally masaya (shmpre, sino ba naman ang sasaya sa bill na approx. P50,000 just for one week) pero basta.

pero ayoko nang magkasakit pa si Prime. nakooo sana last na yan.hmf. masyado na syang maraming sakit.

for pictures, click here.

it wasn't kilig after all.

2008-07-29T10:35:00.002+08:00

haaay. I realized just now that I really don't have a crush on him. I'm not head over heels with that guy. How stupid. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed that I saw him again after such a long time. I was just feeling happy. But it's confirmed. I just want to have a kuya exactly just like him. Aww. Swear, I want a brother like him. Too bad it ain't happening ever.

MAngo or mAEngo?

2008-07-26T07:22:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday, Chichi asked me if she could sleep over again in our house to carve premolars, read nucleic acids and draw her last tooth. And I bet she just wants to play table tennis with my brother.hahaXD and so I was right. haha. Too bad we went home late, and it rained. We have to fall in line (a very long one) before we could ride the fx to vista verde. and as expected, it's dark already, and when we reached home, my vrother was watching a movie on my ipod. He's apparently busy. Poor Chichi. She has nothing else to do but to pretend doing something like taking off the plaster from the mouth impression, just to take away the idea of paddle hitting the orange ball out of her mind. hahaXD and she was the first one to fall asleep. And so, maxine and I were the only ones left. We stayed up til 3am, just carving and drawing teeth, story telling, and looking at pictures in FS. OH what a night.

*since I'm too lazy about the details, I ain't making this blog any longer.*

I was just laughing my head off when Chichi and Max thought of the idea that when we reach the age of 27 and we still don't have a husband or something, we're gonna end up as a DEAN of the College of Dentistry. Heck. Is this gonna happen??
Ube and Chi were trying to compute for the years it would take for them to finish grad school and pass the board exams and the additional majors. Of course there'll be no time for fling and attachments by then. what made me really laugh is when Ube was too worried about it. So she's er..looking for a fling or serious relationship...on the web. haha kidding!;p

**

and just yesterday, Marc, Aviane and I had a laugh about wrong pronounciations. Talk about fruits. HAHA!XD We were eating (again) at the LRT2 food stalls and decided to eat fried noodles since Marc's stomach was growling. And to finish our solid intake, we bought shake just beside the noodle stall. I bought lychee shake. Yum! And while I was sipping my shake, 2 Lasallian girls approached the stall. I didn't mean to eavesdrop (like, duh! why the heck would I do that, I care less about them anyway), because they were right in front of me. So I couldn't help but to hear what they're saying. Besides, they're just asking each other what they're gonna buy.
So here's the funny part:

DLSU girl with a DSLU button pinned on her bag, i mean, beg: Anong gusto mong shake?
DLSU girl with a DLSU shirt: Hmmm...maengo na lang cguro..
DLSU girl with a DSLU button pinned on her bag, i mean, beg: MAENGO? ocge MAENGO nlng rin sakin..

My eyes widened and I frowned. I asked Aviane if which is the correct pronounciation--if it's mAngo or mAEngo. She said, it could be both. But she,too got puzzled. So she asked Marc. Marc, who was RIGHT beside the girl, laughed and blurted out, "parang bAg and bAEg lang yan e.."

Hwaaat?! I couldn't believe he could say that in front, I mean, beside the two girls! HahaXD He didn't know that those two girls were the ones who said those "wrong" pronounciations. I couldn't shout at Marc right there so we transferred to another spot and we discussed there. Oh what a humiliation those two girls had with Marc!;p

When I reached home I tried consulting the dictionary to be sure. Nailed it. I was right. it's /mang-gho/.

"Moments with Charlesand Marco."

2008-07-23T02:38:00.002+08:00

Haha. I laughed at that idea of Charles. We were together with Marco on our way home a while ago. Why? Hmm.

When we Marc, Aviane and I (my new LRT buddies) were on our way home from that drawing session in Oral Histology lab, Marco texted me through Charles's phone, asking if I'm on my way home so I could meet up with them. I was a it surprised cos it was a coincidence that we were on our way home and they texted me. So I replied that I was. And they told me to meet at Legarda. Oook.

But! Before that, Marc said that he was hungry, and, weird enough, I got the feeling I was hungry as well even though I didn't feel my stomach grumble. Oh well. Mind over matter, or just plain gaya-gaya? Anyway. We tried buying Smidgets (3pcs for me and 6pcs for Marc). Aviane didn't buy cos she's not allowed to eat sweets cos of her colds. Too bad, Ave.hahaXD and so I remembered I don't have any more loose change for my fare on my way home at Santolan station. And so I treated them at Fruitas. We bought mango shake (Marc and me) and pineapple (Aviane). We get to share because Marc said he might not be able to consume all 12oz. Hello?! You can eat mountains of rice yet you cannot consume a 12oz cup?? Anyway. At least I was down with 2 payments only. It was P35 each. Aviane was separated from us because Marc said so. Pare, walang hawaan ng sakit..., he told Aviane. How rude. hahaXD

Grr. All the while Aviane was taking a picture of Marc and I, sipping our shake. Nakooo. Di naman kami sabay umiinom e. And we DON'T share straws, FYI. Geez. So, we emptied or cups and went inside the turnstile and headed up to the platform. Charles andMarco kept on bugging me, texting evrry now and then in Marc's phone, asking where the heck am I and why so slow. I told the two to ride the train when I said so, and to enter at the 5th door from the back of the train.

And a reunion. As always, Marco and Charles kept on teasing me, humiliating me in front of my college friends and in front of many people. I didn't shrank of humiliation, but still. Argh. And then they invited me to watch movies with them--Hancock. I said no. As far as I can remember I have to study Biochemistry tonight. But they kept on insisting that I come with them whther I like it or not. It's like they were hitting my conscience.

Marco: sumama ka na kasi.
Cien: ayoko ngaa! me exam kami, diba aviane?
Aviane: *nodded*
Cien: Oh tamo!
Marco: (asking Marc) Me exams ba kayo?
Marc: (how evil!!) wala.
Cien: Maaarc!! *staring madly at Marc*

Cien: ah basta ayoko! kayo nlng ni Charles!
Charles: minsan na nga lang kami magyaya ng sine e! sige na!
Cien: libre nio ako...sasama ako.haha
Marco: ocge ilibre ka ni Charles!
Charles: libre? wag kang umasa sa libre! wag ganun! ano yon, habang buhay kang aasa sa libre? wag ganun!
Cien: Hoy ang kapal nio! di ako umaasa sa libre parati no! basta di ako sasama!!

*loooong debate*

In the end, I was the one who ate my words. I did come with them at Sta Lucia mall. Heck. I don't know what to do...it was already 615pm then. Arrgh. Friends over exams? hmf. Good thing when we went up to the moviehouse, there were no movies showing at that time, and Marco was worried that he might go home late, cos his mom knows his sched. What a mama's boy. hahaXD andso we just decided to eat at Greenwich, even if I don't like there, just because Charles wanted to eat there. Hmf. I was just shy to tell him I don't like it there, because he's gonna treat me. Oh well. I just ordered macaroni salad, and the serving there was big enough.

Then we saw Charles's sister there, and we went home.

I was home at 730pm. yehey.

everyone is a photographer.

2008-07-23T02:23:00.003+08:00

Or so I thought. But still.

Since everyone gets to have a cam nowadays (with built-in camera on mobile phones), anyone can take a shot of anything. Sadly, not all people can realize its art. Puro vanity. I doubt it's an art, cos you always get to see the same smug-looking or pa-tweetums-looking face all over again. There's nothing fresh about it. Right?

kilig to the bones.

2008-07-17T00:53:00.002+08:00

I cannot say I got over my crushes in the past. C'mon, I've forgotten about them! Why do they always find their way in my narrow mind? They're not supposed to fit in there, cos it's been experiencing information overload these past few days. Heck. why???

It's this-- last Monday, while I was browsing on the latest updates on my friends in FS, my eyes found its way on Denise's name. It wasn't her pretty face that caught my attention but her shoutout.
"I hate your girlfriend!"

What's this? Some kind of stupidity? Better take a look. My eyes get itchy whenever I read such hanging shoutouts. I mean, it makes me wanna click that heck-y profile even if it hurts my pride. haha anu daw?? Anyway, my naughty index finger pointed to the name (my sister's laptop has an analog similar to the psp console, instead of a touchpad) against my will *ehem* and there, it was right in front of my eyes.

the profile wasn't eye-catchy at all. It was, for me, a plain profile. No offense, I just find it that way, because I'm not really close to her eversince HS. I don't find her profile fun and exciting. I was just after her shoutout. And I'm about to look for the answers there.

*scanning through the page*

AHA! Singol daw sya!! Oops sorry. She's single!!
Sooo..what's the big deal??

I scrutinized every inch of that page, still looking for that damn answer I've been longing to see. It didn't came to me that Bry and Denise are gone down the drain, cos Bry is still one of her featured friends. Heck. Why? Hmmm. I tried to read her err..unreadable self-description and she looked fine, but apparently bitter. Her albums showed she was happy, her profile, and no trace of uber bitterness. Maybe she was, but it was all in the shoutout.

It's weird, doesn't it? Why was she bitter in her shoutout? It was then that I started clicking Bry's bloated face. Haha seriously, his face was too close-up that his cheeks looked rounded and bloated. Anyway. Gosh, I couldn't believe what I was seeing then--he too was SINGOL!! oops, single pala. hahaXD I dunno what I should feel, it was like someone's just induced me with helium and me body started floating; and at the same time I was a bit reluctant becos of his bloated face. hahaXD It's not that I only have eyes for cuties, but becos I was used to seeing him as deflated. Oh well. Who am I to judge books by their covers. I'm after their titles.XD

Anyway. Continuing my scanning through his page, I noticed a pretty girl named Erika who almost filled up the whole comment portion of his page. Ooh. Iba na to. I smell some fling frying. Hmf. I felt myself deflating--exhaling helium as I fell to the ground. It didn't hurt so bad, but still. Haay. Reading the comments just makes me feel weird all the more, so I just eased up the tension between me and the profile staring lifelessly back at me. It's like saying, "hey, don't just stare. Bite me." Heck. I'm not biting anyone or ANYTHING. Posting a comment about his bloated face would be the way out of the tension. I kinda said, " bry an taba mo na!! ung pisngi mo lang ba yan or mataba kna tlga?? haha". I wasn't expecting a reply from him; it was just an excuse, cos he might be wondering why I viewed his page. So now he'll just be thinking that I viewed him cos I noticed his spherical face. haha

And then he left a comment on my page the day after. Heck. My heart leaped a mountain, and I could feel the capillaries on my facial muscles constrict. I was blushing. Could this be true? I really cannot believe what I was seeing in front of my naked eyes. Heeeck. WHY?? Why did he reply for crying out loud?? I was actually dropping that thing off, cos I know there's nothing much for me there. AAARGH.

To add up to my uneasiness, I saw him in the LRT2 last Friday!!! OH NOOO. He was standing 2 feet away from where I was sitting. He wasn't as bloated as he seemed in the pic. He was exactly how I pictured him before. Heck. He's cuter than ever. Grr. To add to it, he was dressed to kill. O_O Bakit pa kasi ako naupo dun sa gitnang part ng LRT2, at bakit ba kasi ako lumingon sa right ko??? It's all recurring to me. Geez.

BG Music: "...it was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me now..."

Heck. "But I can't fight this feeling anymore...", Oh no. Why do all songs come rushing through my mind at that moment? Hmf.

So desperate I was, I tried following where he could be riding. Could it be jeepney or LRT1? But then, all else failed me. It was either I was walking too fast (racing after my heart) or he just left for the D.Jose Station. Sheesh.

"...And I don't wanna fall to pieces..I just wanna sit and stare at you.."

Haay. sad realities of life...

Good thing my dream that night snapped me back from that illusion. Alvin, my crush from grade 6 til 2ndyr HS, was in my dream!! He actually came back from Australia just to visit me in my condo. And he was too excited to see me that he hugged me. WHOA.

*blink blink*

Oops. Another illusion.

ten free things I enjoy at the moment...

2008-07-16T23:23:00.001+08:00

At the end of the lecture on Perspectives class, we were asked to list down 10 free things that we are enjoying at the moment. With all the price hikes that are happening right now, it was hard thinking of those free things. I was actually asking some of my friends to give me an idea of that free thing, because I can't get the hinge of it. Suddenly it hit me and I was able to think of things which don’t involve filthy money. The 10 free things I enjoy at the moment are:

1. Clean air, because I breathe it every second and it fuels my brain to think.

2. Sleep, because we students barely get adequate sleep, that’s why whenever and wherever possible, I sleep.

3. Pictures of adorable faces in the internet, because for me, just by looking at them, it relieves my stress. ☺

4. Blogging. Well, although the use of the internet is paid monthly, the act of writing a blog is similar to literally voicing out my ideas to all. In here I’m able to express myself more.

5. Being with my friends.

6. Giving and helping others. I guess this is natural to me since I’m used to act as the “mother” in our house, while my parents are away.

7. Receiving. Let’s face it; we all want something in return. haha

8. Plaster strips, hand sanitizer, Opsite, and everything else and my mom takes home from the hospital. I think this is why I am a health-freak.

9. Walking. That’s why I still enjoy commuting to school despite the fact that it’s tiring.

10. Wishful thinking.☺

P.S. On a vacation.

2008-05-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

yep. we're gonna be on a vacation from tomorrow til tuesday. I don't know if I'm gonna be excited or not. Heck. My parents are gonna be Santa Clauses again. Man, it's so hard being the only sibling who's earning more than what the others eran combined. Not that I'm bragging, but still. We all know how the lifestyle in the provinces are. Well, in our case, our relatives (mommy's siblings) are what you call isang-kahig-isang-tuka-type, or kahid? I dunno. Mahina ako tagalog. Basta, kinda like that. and they always ask for money from my mom. Imagine, 3 of my mom's siblings ask for P1ooo-3,ooo everytime we go there, plus their kids ask P500 too. My goodness, katakot-takot na gastos.

P3000 - mom's siblings
P500 x 10 = P5000 - cousins
P10,000 - fuel for car
P2000 - food on trip
TOTAL: P20,000.

man.

my happy-est moment's gonna happen already.

2008-05-19T01:47:00.002+08:00

yeay. mommy's going home TODAY. @11am. man, I'll be waiting for 10hrs na lang!!

ain't that great? Boy, am I the happiest kid alive! ay, I mean, person, not kid. Pero I feel like a kid again everytime my parents go home. I don't know why. (?_?)

basta. I'm gonna get ready cos I'll be wearing my happy-est smile again. Oha!

My Handwriting Analysis.

2008-05-16T16:30:00.002+08:00

Grave of the Fireflies

2008-05-16T16:21:00.001+08:00

nakakaiyank tong 1988 Anime-Drama movie. you better watch it.

One day I searched Yahoo and Google for my name.

2008-05-16T15:48:00.002+08:00

wala lang. naaliw ako sa mga results nung tinype ko ung CIEN.

Merong Cadillac Cien, Cien Anos, Filipinas Dentro de Cien Anos, CIENa Corp, CIEN (Civil eng'g), at kung anu ano pa. may kapangalan pa ako. taga Indonesia, sa China.

wala kakaaliw lang.haha

I wanna sing til my wallet cries.

2008-05-03T16:36:00.002+08:00

I've been going to World of Fun with my friends just to sing and sing and sing,
The first time was during my birthday blowout at Sta. Lucia. The videoke thing was unexxpected, Moris just gave an idea in replace of the movie we were supposed to watch. We were actually killing time, but when we were there, it was incredibly fun;p although our scores werent as perfect as Noel's, it was funnnn!! ^________________^

And the second time was just this afternoon, with my friends again,
We're late as always.XD I was the one to set the time to meet. But then again I was late, I arrived at 3pm there. It's because of a sudden ambush! Man, my cousin tricked me into having a haircut!! XO

Anyway. I was super happy because Edrene was finally able to come with us there;p We were: me, Edrene, Cristina, Uyin, Dimple, Hen, Marco, James, and Jesse. But Jesse didn't join us in the videoke thing because he has to be somewhere else;p it's okay, he was able to sing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" on our first videoke;p it was good! The rest were also great, including Noel's "Alone"=D I insisted that he sing it and he did. Thank you Noel!
My favorite part this afternood was when, of course, everyone sang. haha;p And also when Edrene and I sang Torete, Head Over Feet.Haha=p It was fun!
sana maulet;p

I was planning to ask my dad to buy me Magic Sing;p

Jogging in UP DIliman.

2008-05-02T23:34:00.002+08:00

Janet and Ube.

8am meeting time but arrived at 820am.
Janet and I @ Mini-Stop.
CMC. Plaridel Hall.
Locker Hack. >=)
Janet's Plan A, B, C.

Walk around the oval.
CAL.
CAS. Palma Hall.
Vinzon's Hall.
"Hi, Ube."

Walk to CMC again.
Put Ube's things in the hacked locker.
Locker #16.

9am.
Jogged at the shady area of the oval.
Vinzon's Hall once more.
Withdrawed money.
Quenched our thirst at the cafeteria there.

Jogged back to CMC.
N.E.C. dunno what that means,
CE. Melchor Hall.
SSB a.k.a. Batuta boys.
tennis.
Videotheque.
Bell.
CR @ Abelardo Hall.

Janet changed clothes for PE.

Gym.
Maroon Pride.
I borrowed Ube's brother's PE shorts.
Sit-in in Janet's Table tennis class.
Rallied with Ube.
1130am.
Ube and I sat at the bleachers.
Waited for Janet til 1250pm.
Chat with Ube.
Waited for Janet's "special" friend.XD
Ube and I changed clothes.
Janet texted me, asking where we went.
Played with Janet again, for the last time.
Asked by the prof to play against a very talented kid.
I said no. haha=p
Manila v.s. Diliman daw.

Went back to CMC to accompany Janet.
Met Janet's friend and "special" friend.
Said goodbye to Janet and her friends.
Janet had a..eherm.."date."

Ube and I ate at Rodic's.
Tapsilog.
Poor kids outside.

2pm.
Ube rode the jeep to MRT.
Me? IKOT.
didn't know there would be KATIPUNAN passing there at the SC.
NIGS.
I saw Janet and her "special" friend.
the 3 of us in the jeep.
Awkward moment.=p
Vinzon's Hall again.
Sky crying so hard.
Waited at the shed.
Walked in the rain towards the KATIP signboard.
Joyride.

Jeep Terminal.
Crossed the street.
Angono jeep.
Janet and her "special" friend went down at Rob.
Went home.
Feeling SOAKED.

Oh how I love text scams.

2008-05-01T16:32:00.001+08:00

it's always either "congrats you have won [please insert amount here]! please text [person] for details" or "sendan moko load,may importante akong sasabihin,last test ko na to".
heck. who are you kidding?
this was the latest one I've received:

"d2 ka reply or call nalang send ka load 150pesos importante sasabihen ko sayo last txt na e2"
--09278532413

nako. eto reply ko sa kanya:

"Ocge bgyan kita load pero go to hell muna."

haha. he should burn in hell.

Liscensed to drive.

2008-04-18T16:23:00.001+08:00

I just got my student permit this morning. Yey. I'll be starting my driving lessons tomorrow morning. wala lang. and after a month i'll be getting a non-pro liscense! aint that great?;p
I'm so excited, can't wait to bring our car out for a trip.
my lesson will last for 5 days, 2hrs each. It's gonna be tomorrow, on Monday, Tuesday, Saturday, and next Monday. If it's not for that primer, I'll be able to have the lesson for a week straight. oh well.

***

these are my plans this summer:
1. learn to drive
2. learn to play the drums
3. a a pianist! bwahaha in my sore dreams;p
4. swim
5. overnight at jala jala
6. meet my parents. (huh?)
7. be accepted in dent proper and get enrolled.
8. go to palawan
9. MOA trip again (pyro included.)
10. uhh..err..erase my birthday on the calendar;p

Happy-est moment.

2008-04-07T16:12:00.002+08:00

I was once asked by my cousin, “what was the happiest time of your life?”

We were sitting on the edge of our roof deck at that time, on a warm Saturday night. In that case, that was just this Saturday. I asked her to accompany me there, hoping that I could at least see from afar the pyrolympics that I failed to watch that night, too. Mikko asked me to come but it was too late—it was already 5:30pm that he asked. Man, he could’ve treated me at least half the price of the ticket. Haha=) anyway.

Ate Len and I went up to the roof deck to watch the fireworks but to no avail. Heck. How could I be so dumb? How could I forget that the world is round and the fireworks from Germany and China could only be seen at the Baywalk? Me and my stupid ideas again. Tsk. And so, we just felt the cold air touching our face and looked at the stars instead. The sky was clear, and the stars shining brightly. Haay. What a relief from the humid downstairs and from the pressure of exams. Now this is vacation.

Since there were no fireworks but stars to gaze at, we just sat on the edge of the roof deck and started talking about life. Well at least, my cousin was. She started sharing me about her dream to be standing on a high place and overlooking at houses and buildings at night. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing at that moment; she has been dreaming about it since she was a kid. I was very happy for her, thinking about her miserable past. I was glad I asked her to come upstairs. For a couple of minutes she went silent, and we both felt the calmness of the night. The only noise we could hear was the door being slammed at the other house. My thoughts and all emotions were like being sucked out of me; I was literally staring blankly at Antipolo and all the lighted houses and buildings. The lights seemed to form shapes and somehow it conveyed something. Just then, I remembered my elementary days. Sigh. I began missing Assumption again. But I didn’t know what I was feeling—it was like you’re practically missing something yet you’re feeling nothing but the cold air.

I was startled when my cousin began to talk. “alam mo, ading, eto na siguro ang pinakamasayang moment ko. Matagal ko na tong pinapangarap, na malayo sa problema, at nakaupo lang sa mataas na lugar habang tumitingin sa malayo.” I replied, “Oo nga ate e, nakakatanggal ng pagod at nakakarelax.” I took the matter lightly, thinking she wasn’t that serious. But she was. Then she started asking me what the happiest time of my life was. It sort of made me think for a while, then a blurted out, “Ahh. Nung elementary ako. Nung time na…nung time na…” then all of a sudden I stuttered; I wasn’t able to finish the sentence. The words didn’t come out yet I couldn’t swallow it either. The next thing I knew my vision blurred. My cousin repeated what I last said, “Nung time na?” but she didn’t look at me. She knew I was about to cry because of the question. Heck. I should’ve known it’ll turn out that way. I wished she knew how much I hate crying. By then I could’ve thought of something happier to reply. I guess I’m a little too late, because tears have already trickled down my cheeks. I was about to say that my happiest time was when I was in elementary, when I was in a complete bliss. The time when everyday was a dream to pursue and cotton candy was within my reach. These thoughts came rushing in, but I forgot to stop where the happy moments ended. So I realized that those were also the times when family days for me really weren’t family days; when I envy my classmates for their things; when my best friend was autistic; when my skirt since grade 1 was the very same skirt I wore until I was in grade 5; when asking for money for camping was too much to ask; and when my report cards were last to be claimed because no one but I was to get it. With all those came rushing in, I couldn’t help but cry. Good thing my cousin understood my silence. She didn’t ask more. Then she gave me the very thought I was waiting to come up. It was then that I realized that the happiest moment of my life wasn’t the time when I got my very first Barbie. It wasn’t the time when I got the highest grade in class. Nor was it the time when I finally had a bestfriend who really gave a damn about me. It was this photo which I think captured me in my happiest smile ever. And it wouldn’t be long ‘til I’ll be able to wear this smile again. Who knows.

Oh btw, I guess it’ll be appropriate to spell it like this: happy-est.

What's the dillo? None, actually.ü

2008-04-07T16:03:00.002+08:00

sheesh.would you think that this is just my first ever summer vacation in college? just now?? oh well. I enjoyed Bio22 last summer, anyway.so it's fine.ü

once again, it's been a veeeeerrrry long time since I've posted here in my blog. A lot has happened, lots of stories and experiences waiting to be jotted down or typed, but there's one thing that hinders my fingers to do its thing on the keyboard--laziness. And so, I'll just have to start telling my story from the first day of this week.

Sunday.

Once again I skipped going to mass just for the sake of..eherm..studying (wuuu maniwala..) for Chem31 finals, since I wasn't exempted. But to tell you, I should've studied 2days before, but I just wasted those days just to watch Hana Kimi. How lame. That crazy girl who pretended to be a guy polluted my mind. argh. Oh well, it's relaxing my stressed mind, anyway, after a very long week of exams. Maybe that is why I felt no regrets of idling around. But the bad thing was, I used the time for mass to study, instead of using the idle times 2 days before. See? Makasalanan na tlga ako. How come I was able to come out of the Husgado scratchless? hmf. Seriously? I didn't study the whole day. Because I believe in que sera, sera. haha joke;p

Monday.

Chem 31 finals. Don't ask.;p basta it's a lot easier than the previous exams.;p Right after exams I went to the OUR to claim my GMC from the guidance office, then to UP Health Service in PGH to check the results of my screening. But to no avail, so I went to meet up eith my aunt so we could pay the bills. Man, I'm too young to pay biiiiills!! But I won't expect my ate to do it because she can't even fix herself.haha joke;p bsta ayaw lang niya ng responsibilities. Heck, Ang tanda na niya e.haha

Tuesday

I just stayed home, because Irish texted me that I passed chem 31. YES!
Hmm..anu nga ba ginawa ko neto? Ooh I remember! My cousin called and asked me to come over their house in Marick because she needs company. She has no one to talk to because she's the only girl in the house, with 5boys. Of course I went there, not just out of pity for my cousin, but also because her husband's cute brother is there.haha=)) he was my tutor in Chem31 once, and he's really good, although I didn't pay much attention to the lesson because I was distracted=)) sya lang naman pinunta ko dun e.joke;p I was there too, to give back the orgchem book I borrowed from him. Honestly I didn't use the book much, because I already have a Paula Bruice and handouts from Ma'am DLR. But I was shy to give it back to him before, because it was him who lend me the book. So I just let the book rest in my file organizer for a while, until the sem ends.hahaha=)) and when I returned it, I told him it was useful;p totoo naman e,useful sya sana kung ginamit ko;p I had fun staying there because Carlo's best buddy, Paolo, was there too! haha cute rin sya;p I stayed there until 10pm.

Wednesday

Again, I went to ate chic's place to hang out. My sister and I went there so that ate chic would have some girls to talk to, because her husband was at work, and Carlo and Paolo were busy playing that Digimon PC game. Heck. They're too old for that!! haha;p

Thursday.

I went to school to have our annual medical exam at the UP Health Service. I met up with Ube and we fell in line. Good thing there were only few students who haven't had the exam yet, so we're done by 11am. The only thing that kept us too long was the doctor. She wasn't available until 10am, so we waited. My Anti-Hepa B was very reactive, so I don't need vaccinations anymore.Hahahaha;p And oh, I told the doctor about the frequent lumbar muscular pains that I've been experiencing. She advised me to do isotonic exercises because she said it might lead to scoliosis!! heck. I have to!;p isesearch ko pa tuloy un mga un;p
after that, Ube and I went to our house to rest ans wait until 630pm, because we'll be going to Aviane's debut in Antipolo. All we did was lie around and watched Wowowee, and ate choco cake, halo-halo, fish&squid balls, and edited irish's pic with bry :x bwahaha one of the greatest ideas of Ube and Cien;p lemme post that after this;p
then Max together with her sister went here also, to change clothes=) joanne came to pick us up and we went there. details of this part will be described further in my album later on;p
that night I texted all of my HS classmates and friends if they like to go to ecopark the next day. I was so excited to see them again, and was excited all the more when Gen suggested that we go to that place, instead of going to the malls to watch movies, or wasting our money in Timezone, or anything. Besides, it's a lot fun to be outdoors;p I was happy because a lot of them replied and said they'd come=)

Friday (TODAY)

Maybe I'll just do a write-up to this when I've posted the pictures=) that way, it'll be more fun to type the experience;p We even made a mini-documentary or movie or watever you call it.haha;p but for now I have to sleep already, because I need to wake up early tomorrow because Gen and I will go to Sta Lucia to have the video transferred in a cd. It doesnt play in our PCs.

Heck.

i was about to post this last friday but there's an internet connxn error. so im just about to post it;p

BAGUIO trip!

2008-02-03T15:58:00.002+08:00

[written on Feb 3, 2008, finished just now]

/Bah-gio-tek-no-lo-ji/ n. the study for ukay-ukay or wag-wag; the act of going on a trip to Baguio for 1 whole day to feature ukay-ukay.
ewan. nakakaloka yung ginawa namin last friday tska kahapon. I can't believe we really did that. this was the story:

shempre, may plano bang natutuloy? usually, WALA. pag ang isang bagay ay pinag-planuhan, hindi talaga natutuloy or nangyayari. in contrast, pag hindi, aun, natutuloy.
anyway. ang korni ko magsulat ng blog pag tagalog, ewan ko ba, kaya magshishift na lang ako sa english. eherm..here it goes.

like what I said, plans that aren't planned (huh?) usually happen. or when it is planned on VERY short notice. that's what happened to our Baguio trip, which was originally planned this coming saturday. it was so long planned, but as the day came near, my groupmates started doubting whether we should go on with the plan or not. they were thinking of other things to report for STS, other than that trip,because it's too far, and it's expensive.

plan A: radio shows
plan B: UKAY-UKAY IN BAGUIO
plan C: body pampering
plan D: tagaytay
plan E, F, G,etc.

oh well. these are the excuses we made just to change the original plan. but everything changed when our chemlab exam was moved on Feb 9, which was supposed to be yesterday. that news was spread out last wednesday, and so, in a snap, our Baguio plan was moved. see? we immediately planned what to do and don't,etc.
this was the plan:

we'd travel after class, at 5pm, when all of our classes have dismissed. but then, UBE or Joanne suggested that we'd travel at 11pm instead, because Joanne's cousin, who'll be our driver for the day, have to sleep from a day's work. also, we'll be avoiding traffic, hence, we'll be there in 5hrs. oh yeah, we brought maxine with u, because we need someone to take the video. haha how user;p well at least she enjoyed it, and she really didn't hold the video cam for us.
after class, chichi, ube, ish, aviane, max and I went to Pedro Gil to shoot our first scene, which was the interview with the ukay-ukay(UK) stores there. then, we went straight to my house, to sleep or watch or anything, until 11pm.

at Pedro Gil LRT station, I encountered a moronic female security guard, who insisted that I put my emergency light in my backpack, for some stupid reasons. she said that "baka kasi mabasag yung salamin neto tska yung bulb, makasugat pa," etc. my bag was already full, but still she insisted. sheesh. mukha ba akong tanga para hayaang mabasag yung emergency light ko??? sheesh. damn her!!!
eherm. anyway. i dont want to ruin this post because of THAT.

we went to our humble home here in cainta, and started lying down on the couches. and ube watched monster house, while the rest were sleeping, texting, and eating. she was the only one watching seriously. she was funny, because of her facial expressions!=)) she was so indulged in that movie.haha;p then after that, max,ish and ube sang using the Magic Sing courtesy of Joanne. then we ate dinner, played cards (Bluff, Go fish, 123 Pass). at 10pm, we started fixing our things, and called Joanne for updates. aviane's mom insisted that her cousin should come with us, otherwise, she won't. sheesh. I think there's no room for another person, because we used Joanne's Avanza. but we have no choice but to squeeze 3 people at the back and 4 in the middle. haaaay. what an uncomfortable ride. >_<

the official people, therefore, were: me, ube, max, chichi, aviane, aviane's cousin, joanne, joanne's cousin. 9. it's ok, aviane's cousin came in handy during interviews anyway.haha user again>=)
with no stopovers, we're in Baguio in 5hours. we arrived at 349am. its still dark, but there are shops that were open already, and some people, and "bagsakan" of goods has just started. we went around the city to find the ukay-ukay stores because we want to feature the "bagsakan" of the clothes. we asked some people in Session Road, and each led us to different places, like the Baguio City Market, Hilltop, at the back of Burnham Park, and Bayanihan. they said the "bagsakan" would start at 6am, others 8am. so we just slept in the car. we woke up at around 7am, where people are already busy setting up their stalls, opening their stores and restaurants, and doing exercise.haha;p

we went around to look for a clean restroom and someplace to eat. i didn't know that their clean restrooms would have bowls on the floor.haha

***

and now i've been writing this blogpost for two weeks now, but i cant find time to finish this so...i'll end this up. i'll just edit this if situations come loose.haha;p
the trip was fun perse. but the time was too short. wish we would go back there some time, with friends again, like ube, joanne, chi, max, aviane, ish, and the likes.haha=))

for now, i'll just study and study until i've become a full-grown GC, with big front teeth, geeky checkered squarish glasses, and red dress to match. go figure.haha=))

Just when the thoughts came rushing in.

2008-01-20T15:17:00.001+08:00

Today is not much to be excited for. Well the fact that my last blog post was way back December 29, in the year 2007, I just don't consider this to be worth typing for.

So many things have happened, so many events have been attended to, and yet there are no blog posts to be published. I don't blame myself, or the lack of internet loads. I blame the situation in which I was involved, in with which I was supposed to type something about, but I did not. I blame the time, the busy-ness of my schedule due to the consecutive days full of events. Yes, I was happy about those, but I regret that I didn't even write even just a paragraph to decribe how I felt and how the event went on. Stupid.

The events I failed to mark and write something about:
1. UPd Lantern Parade.
In this I could have described how the event differed from ours; how colorful those lanterns were; how I got there from the start; who accompanied me for the whole night; how delectable the aroma of the food were and how watery-mouthed I've become; how I texted my classmate there in diliman to meet up with me but sadly only two responded and only one really did accompany me; how Gen sacrificed being with his classmates and orgmates just to give me company; how I accidentally saw Neil and Jesse when we returned to the Archi booth; how I tried to meet up with Deanna which led me to the post no.14; how she hurriedly went home just because she didn't like the night; how that stupid kid accidentally poured his Milo onto my watch and didn't even said sorry; how frustrated gen and I were when we ordered cookies and cream shake but it turned out that its only oreo cookies being crushed with ice; how tired I've become and yet enjoyed the fireworks that ended the night; how the battery of my cellphone didn't cooperate with me when I was about to take some shots; how Gen let me borrow his digicam so I could record the whole parade; how we were supposed to watch Paskuhan in UST to meet our other HS classmates there but we just went home because I have to come early to PGH the next day for our Morg caroling, and how I was so happy that night that I wish the night would last forever but obviously it didn't.

2. UPMOrg Caroling in Philippine Genera; Hospital
In here I could have described how Ube, Robert and I went to Las Pinas, to my aunt's house, to get the gift packs from Unilever, how we enjoyed the long ride going to that place; how practiced those songs from the top of our lungs just to give the kids a merry show; how the kids at that time were having siesta that's why they didn't enjoy our perfomance much; and how satisfied we were to give joy to the sickly kids there.

3. Christmas Party with the Erni Family.
In here I could have described yet another wonderful feeling to belong to a family whose blood lines are different from ours yet they considered us one with them; how the videoke made my night because of the P100 I earned.

4. New Year with the Erni Family.
In here I could have described our typical new year celebration with them and how I wished we could do the same with our parents around; how our fireworks were not much but still made us happy; how even the tambays outside the compound shared our happiness and excitement while watching the fireworks from Greenmeadows and Acropolis, and Makati.

5. January 5, 2008 event
I could have described still another event with the Erni Family, and the videoke game once again that earned me another P100.

6. the first day of classes in the new year.

7. Ice's debut
I could have described how Edrene and I met once again after such a long time; and how we met Colton Glidewell, a friend of Ice, and how we saw some of our HS friends once again.

8. UP Centennial Kick-off.
In here I could have described so many things yet my fingers sore already and I have to do my Chem31.1 report ASAP. But still I'd write about this anyway, when I'd have time, which I'd really like to have. T_T

And now, I just want to share an inspiring Bible verse that Sir Chong, our HumII prof, mentioned last Friday,,

Ecclesiastes 7:3 "Sadness is better than happiness, because sadness makes us understand.."

I was so enthralled by that verse, that I started to ponder on some things, and I've proved that it's really true.

I dont have to explain, because the word is the message.Then I'll have to leave the pondering to you.

UPM lantern Parade Experience.

2007-12-29T15:12:00.001+08:00

Not much, but worth the wait.

December 18, 2007

honestly i wasnt looking forward to the lantern parade or to the christmas party. so why did i wake up at 9am that morning? well..maybe because..

1. i WAS supposed to wake up early for our HUM II class at 10am

2. i was going to get the centennial car plate from the librarian.

3. or was i after the food in the party?

oh well. i dunno, i just had the urge to wake up and move fast. at 10:30, i was at school already, i picked up the plate, went to the CD bldg, then found my way at the back, at table 2 where ube, nuele, martin and aviane were. oh yes, we're near the buffet table! yumyum. i could smell the aroma from where i sat.

yeah, as expected, the program has bagun, and they were already having games. i'm supposed to be with the group Casper, but i decided not to join, since i was late, and i was jaded from the rush.anyway.

Ube and I just read Kiko Machine, and waited until eating time comes. yes, it came a bit earlier than we expected, since we were just starting. yes, we ate our hearts out, got ourselves refueled, and went on again with reading and laughing. Of course, we had a few laughs with Rolando, Martin, Eric, Kite, Honey, Aviane, and Nuelle.

after that, the program resumed, and it drained my energy all the more. I got a bit drowsy and bored, so i asked ube if we could just have videoke in timezone, to kill the time. and we never thought we're going to see the lantern parade..until jesse texted.
well, i forgot the text msg, but it goes something like this:

"cien! panu papunta dyan, ano sasakyan ko mula sa philcoa?"

ok. we weren't expecting much from him, since he said he wasn't going to see the parade, for acad reasons. or org reasons. or whatever.

yes, we gave him directions, but unfortunately, he got on in the wrong bus. all the while he thought it was "Quiapo-Taft", but then he realized that the bus was traveling along EDSA. wow. bravo, jesse. bangag ka na tlga.

so...we gave him directions, blahblahblah... and at last, he arrived about 15mins before the whole program ends.haha

anyway, after we sang and sang, we sort of "tambay" in 7-11 in front of CD bldg, so as to wait for jesse, and for the parade to pass by. we had no plans of joining the parade, we just want to see it, and wait for jesse. (btw, it was me, ube and irish whom i'm refering to as "we".)

we paraded, and joined in our college chant, while talking nonsense with rolando and honey at the back. we arrived in front of PGH, together with all other colleges and departments of PGH. we were 3rd in line. and im kinda proud of our lantern. next year, we're going to make the college lantern, when we're in dent proper. so we have to be prepared.haha

yada.yada.yada.blahblahblah. nonsense talk.

this was the funny part on the night:

we noticed sir mazahery kept on passing by, and so, we decided to have a picture with him. sir maza's class of bio102 had a pic with him, exept for ube, i think? bsta un na un. oh dear, i could see in his face that he was satisfied with that. hmf. feeling hearthrob. pacute. papansin tlga un si sir.haha

anyway, the parade ended at 630pm, and we can't go home at that moment, because the news of the fire in lrt just broke out, and all people are going straight home by all means.
so, irish suggested we should eat dinner first at rob. so we did, in mcdo. i was surprised that irish and jesse were talking, i min, having a chat.haha

yehey, at 8pm, we assumed that the people has lessened in lrt, so we went home already.

that was the night. not much, but still.

Block 15 Christmas lunch.

2007-12-24T14:45:00.001+08:00

December 17, 2007
This would be a very fine monday if it wasn't for our Chem 31 1st Departmental exam. hmftpf. But, the tension and the regrets of the exam was gone as soon as we went out of the campus. The problem now was, how we're gonna wrap or buy our gifts worth P100. we dashed to the mall and headed to different places. Ube and I went to look for a wrapper or paperbag. Ooh before that, we went to the grocery to buy Ube's gift for Edzel.haha and guess what, she bought a Toblerone, Snickers, Goya, and Carne Norte corned beef. huwaat?! Well, i maybe wrong but I remember that one piece that's very odd. haha;p anyway, we bought paper bags and headed to the 4th floor. Call time was 11am, but we were finally complete at around 1230pm? i not sure, but we waited for so long.haha but it's worth the wait anyway. Ube and I ordered Carbonara and Chicken Delight, worth P389. Sulit, kasi we shared, and we were satisfied.=)
Our block decided to have an exchange gift and a block lunch at Max's Restaurant in Rob, just so we could get together once again. the original block was there, except for franz, aj, peter, and honey. basta it was fun din, kasi at least we had lunch together before the year ends. at least the block is still intact,despite some small groups. anyway.
i received a soccer ball pillow from maxine=) and i gave correction tape to robert=)

after that, we stayed for a couple of hours more in PGH to surf the net, since ube and I were waiting for the Morg GA.

never felt bluer than before.

2007-12-03T22:06:00.001+08:00

This night I'm supposed to do a lot of things. First, I'm supposed to do my NatSci4 movie review about the film The Core. Second, I'm supposed to answer exercises on Chem31.1 for the upcoming 1st departmental exam on Saturday. I'm supposed to do something really productive tonight. But no.

I watched The Core, and I felt very emotional about it, particularly the part where they start losing the members of the mission, all for the sake of its success. One has to do sacrificing for the benefit of the world. I really get mad whenever this happens in movies, but then it's what makes the movie very awesome. It makes me want to watch films like these all the more.

After that, I went online, to check out my multiply and friendster. Then I managed my two blogs in blogger.

Whats the point?

Great pressure is on me right now, and I just can't seem to find an outlet. I can't call my bestfriends, I can't tell it to anybody, not even my own parents. I don't get it, it seems to be that the world is being pretty unfair to me.

**
Yesterday, I had an argument with my brother about going to church. It's a very long story; a pretty heated discussion between the two of us. My sister isn't around, and our housemaid is busy upstairs, folding clothes.And it came to a point that I started forcing him to stand up and take a bath. He refused to do so, which made me shout all the more. Then I started hitting him, because he won't listen. I felt really bad of what I did, but that's the only way. Then again, I should've think before I act. Too late, it happened. He did something I'll never forget for the rest of my life. I yelled, cried, and went straight to the room, away from him. I heard him cry too, but the hell I care. At that moment I felt nothing but anger and bitterness.

**
A while ago, as I was watching PBB in the sala, my brother passed by in front of me. He tried to start a conversation, but I ignored it; I acted as if i heard nothing. Then when I was in front of the PC in the room, he approached me once more to ask for his allowance fr tomorrow. I showed him my coin purse which has nothing but loose change, and he went out. That's the only moment that I responded to what he said. I really felt bad when I just passed by him as I was going to the kitchen. I felt an awkward feeling, mixed with anger and pity and bitterness, and with a bit pride. It really sucks to feel those all at the same time. It's like drinking all the medicine in one dose, that it makes you nauseated and sick inside. I felt bad not talking to the person whom I always get to talk with, whom I always tell my stories and frustrations with. Yes, I talk to my sister all the time too, but of course, it's a different story with my brother. It just doesn't feel the same without a little chat with a brother. I feel guilty of what I've done, but I'm angry because until now he's not even admitting his faults. I'm angry, because he's not the same person I used to know and like. He's not my brother anymore, in a sense.

I grit my teeth whenever I remember what happened yesterday; whenever I remember those times that he didn't heed my advices; whenever I remember all those stuff I did for him that he only took for granted; whenever I see myself pitying him even though it's against my pride; whenever I see him having problems or getting sick and no one attends to his need; whenever I understand him for being rude to ate; whenever I remember those times that we share the same feeling and we shared silly jokes together; whenever I remember him disregarding what our parents have said to him about his studies and barkada; whenever I can't sleep because of his problems that I carry as a burden; whenever I remember everything so vividly in my mind, and yet, I can't do anything about it.

I can't accept the fact that he's changed, and I can't do anything to bring him back to his usual self. I'm mad, so mad.

I badly needed an outlet, someone to tell my problems to, someone who'd understand. And I thank Ube for listening inspite of her cramming of her homework in NatSci4. I appreciate it so much. And I'm supposed to sleep hours ago, but I can't. I'm being unfair to my body already, to my health. I'm getting sick everyday, but still I'm here in front of the PC, typing this damn post, just so I can sleep well tonight. I started typing at 10:30pm and I'm just about to end right now at 12:02am.

So emo? I don't think so. I just needed to practice self-pity once in a while.

a night at the Skechers Street Dance Battle 3.

2007-12-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

I never thought it's going to be so much fun there. I was having second thoughts on going with Mike, because I have lots to do. Haay. But he apparently made me come, well, Joana did. I was doing a favor for Joana-to go with Mike at the compet and use her ticket. Ok. Since I really got no choice and since Mike told me that this only happen once a year, I gave in.

"Minsan lang naman tayo magcram at manood ng ganito"-Mike.

sheesh. fine. as if i really have other way out of that.

yes, the night was pretty good. i get to see all dances of different schools, from HS levelto college level. I thought I'm just going to sit there and watch. but heck no. Before I knew it, I was standing and shouting at the sound of our school name. UP Manila Indayog Dance Varsity. or whatever the name is. Coincidently, I was beside a schoolmate, particularly a dentistry stud too, and an indayog. But he wasn't able to join the compet, for unknown reason. anyway. We ( kuya and his companions) were shouting the moment the Indayog were on the stage, doing their thing, while Mike and his classmates were shouting for their school, Mapua Makati.

too bad we didn't make it to the top spot, nor the 1st and 2nd place, unlike last year. We were 2nd place back then. anyway. once again, UP Diliman won the champs, and Ateneo, ans Mapua. Mapua never fails to fall out of the top 3. why, they are undeniably awesome. Terribly awesome.haha=) i felt my jaw dropped open but no. Inisip ko lang ulet, but it was dried shut. Sayang tlga.

i also want to note the Xavier School who were terribly great too, but all were shocked upon the announcement of the winners. They were neither placed on the top 3. The crowd were so shocked that the St. Paul Pasig was the one declared the champs, when everyone was expecting Xavier. sayang ulet.haaay.

anyway, there's still another year to look forward to. let's just watch out fer it.=)

btw, the hosts were DJ Mo Twister, Andi9, and Jay(forgot the last name).

i want to learn how to use adobe photoshop.

2007-11-24T13:55:00.001+08:00

i know i'm so lame, but I want to.haha
good thing my good old org-mate Ian gave me an Adobe Photoshop program to which i can already start practicing with.

i can edit pictures, but very beginner.haha

i need a tutor. because i want to make a layout of the other blog i'm maintaining. it's http://www.onlyinupmanila.blogspot.com/

can anyone give me tips?=)

love triangles, anyone?

2007-11-07T09:52:00.001+08:00

"Hello my friend we meet again. It’s been a while, where should we begin? Feels like forever. Within my heart are memories, perfect lies that you gave to me. Oh I remember."

Love triangles.

It’s a widespread incurable disease, an unavoidable plague hitting friendships.
I’ve seen it everywhere, from the scripted movies to the real world. I was hoping it won’t hit my friends. But sadly, it did.

I’ve seen my friends struggling not to let it show, but I’m not too nonchalant to disregard it, neither am I too insensitive not to see just below the surface.

I’ve seen my friends blush upon the name of their likes. Oh how they try to hide it, but it shows in the spark in their eyes; and how they try to deny when things become too obvious.

I’ve seen my friends become silent when the one they like becomes involved with my other friends. Yes, the whole problem lies inside the boundary of our friendship. They deal with it like they don’t give a damn about it. But yeah, they do.

I’ve seen my friends try to deal with their emotions towards our other friends through teasing them, so as to be close to them. They tease, because they can’t tell it directly. They tease, for the sake of hiding. It’s a defense mechanism, a projection. You try to tease someone because you want to be teased too. You try to say, “Yikee, gusto mo siya no?” because it’s how you feel. You say things spoken of your desires. You wouldn’t bother tell it if it’s not bothering you, if it’s not worth your attention. Of course it’s your friends’ feelings, so it’s but normal to speak for them. But only fools fail to see what’s beyond words.

I’ve seen my friends deal with it through SMS. Text quotes speak well of what someone would like to say. It’s a way of wanting to be heard—through silent cries. To play it safe, they say it as indirectly as possible.

Funny how love/infatuation complicates our once simple friendship. I don’t speak only of my high school friends, but of my other friends who might be trapped in the same web-like trouble as well. It’s really not deteriorating our wonderful friendship; it’s just that it’s like a housefly that keeps on bugging us until it no longer has the wings to flap and the sound to buzz.

The situation goes on and on like this: (let F1= friend 1, F2= friend 2…) F1 likes F2, who likes F3. F4, being closer to F5, ignores F3, just because F4 knows that F2 likes F3. F7 secretly likes F1, but also likes F6. And so F7 struggles. F4 is so close with F5, but they like the same person, which is F8. F4 chooses not to tell F5 about it, and so F4 just teases F5 to F8. F5 likes it, and does not notice that F4 also likes F8. F8, on the other hand, likes F7. F8 feels so sad because F7 doesn’t notice F8’s feelings, yet F8 doesn’t notice F4 and F5’s feelings too. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

The love-knot just keeps on growing bigger, so it remains untangled. Neither of us can do any thing about it, we just let it happen. While one gives up, the other keeps on holding on. While the other desperately waits, the other has so long forgotten. While the other rejoices, the other sarcastically rejoices with him/her. While two becomes happy, one or two others silently cry. While one runs after the other, the others are tagging along. While the others tag along, someone secretly walk behind. While one stops to run and look back, he/she notices someone hasn’t moved at all at the starting line. While one drops the thing off, the other suddenly notices it. And while one has seen the light at the end of the road, the other says it’s over.

Too complicated, right? Yes it is, and it’s inevitable. How I wish it’s just like dandruff on the shoulder that we can just flick away.

Maybe it’s not love triangle after all; it’s a love knot or love web.

me a muslim?

2007-11-05T20:16:00.000+08:00

her name's eugene. nag-iwan ng comment sa isa sa mga pics ko sa friendster. this is what she said:

"eugene - posted - 10/19/2007
ishh...... aper nie kak long!!!!!!smpan gmbor pakwe ayu......huhuhu..............."

heck. is it really reality? anyone who understands this comment? tell me pleaseT_T

im in the middle of identity crisis. haha friend ko b tlga sya or wat?;p

inverted sisters.

2007-11-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

inverted. i was just about to type what's on my mind when it was erased.sheesh. the point of this blog is wasted.hahay.

vampire in the morning?

2007-11-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

And their on again. As usual. Ready to bite and suck. It won't be long til they draw the first blood. They've been too lucky to detect my presence here in the living room. And so, I write this.

I'm supposed to read Matilda by Roald Dahl in my favorite seat. I didn't bother turn on the fan since it's just 8am and there's no sign of pests to ruin my morning.

No. I'm dead wrong.

I'm just about to read the preface when the first mosquito, a million times smaller than me, bit me on my meaty, or rather, fatty thigh. I just pondered on how gutsy a mosquito could be. More gutsy than me. Truly, size doesn't matter.

I shouldn't blame them, though. It's their only struggle for survival. They need blood just as babies need milk, just as kids need yummy vegetables, just as high schoolers need mobile load, just as college students need sleep. Naturally.

But still.

It's all about the Theory of Natural Selection. The strongest and fittest survives. Sorry, dear vampire insect, but I have to follow Darwin and his lovely teachings.

And it's not long til I thwacked that mosquito goodbye.

into coke commercials.=)

2007-10-24T20:08:00.002+08:00

i so like every coke commercial. as in. they never fail to let out a dull advertisement, that's why many go for coke. Even if they're pretty aware of the strength of the coke's acidity. In fact there's an anti-coke poster I've found in deviantart to prove that they are aware of its harm effects. Nevertheless. Everybody loves coca cola.=)

I tried looking for all coke commercials in youtube. I got some of them, and these are my favorites. Wanna watch it? here, suit yourself.=)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6rw-c5D7dOQ
- the 70's commercial with lyrics on circles. haha

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IDlFHEMVW-c
- i'd like to buy the world a coke(1970)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=X23MoTtVplE
- buy the world a coke (1984) christmas version

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7wt5FiZQrgM
- give a little love (2007)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q9zgT3WzTVA
- white stripes commercial,only aired in australia,and once in the UK. The song playing is Love Is The Truth written by Jack White

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ET8vRoXWhGI
- ito ang beat,sabay sabay

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NwCn-D5xFdc
- coke happiness factory

yan palang nakukuha ko e, kasi paputol-putol un connection ko. pero if you want to check it out yourself, visit youtube.=)

DISCLAIMER: i don't love coke. in fact, I promised myself that as much as possible I won't drink soft drinks ever again. Not only does is worsen my gastric problems, but it is harsh in my throat.haha arte ko;p

Barbie Doll.

2007-10-23T22:50:00.001+08:00

Barbie Doll.

this night I was watching PBB while chatting with 12345. I can't help but to cry when Mcoy plays as Barbie in exchange for a Barbie for his child. I really felt sad for Mcoy. 12345 asked me if I was watching that scene. I said of course. Then he said, "sabi na nga ba e.haha" then I said, "oo! bakit ba??" Then he said, "haay. Emotional human beings. haha"

cien: so? e nakakarelate ako e.

12345: babae nga naman

cien; so babae si mcoy? haha (at this point, im still kidding around)

12345: nde..

12345: shmpre anak niya un e, kaya ok lang na maging emotional sya

12345: e ikaw??

cien: sorry a!

cien: sabihin mo nnmn na nagdadrama nanaman ako

12345: haha

cien: hindi mo kasi naiintindihan e

12345: waa sori..

what?? i felt really bad. He was saying that I have no right to cry over such things, because i'm not in mcoy's place. SO? Should that be the case in order for me to cry? No.

I felt sorry for Mcoy.

how do you place music in your blog?

2007-10-23T16:11:00.000+08:00

how do you place music in your blog? un tipong magpplay kagad pag nagload un page? bgsound na tlga siya,hindi sya independent mp3 player.naka-embed na sya sa blog mismo? heeelp! =(

my wish this year.

2007-10-23T02:01:00.001+08:00

alam ko na ang wish ko this year. alam ko naa!!

well, aside from wishing na sana kumpleto kami sa family ngayong pasko, may isa pa akong wish na ngayon ko lang naisip i-wish.

gusto kong magkaroon ng pic kasama ng mga bestfriends ko, isa-isa sila. Kami ni Edrene, Mike and Tim. and it's not just an ordinary pic lang na tipong "uyyy pic tau dito sa starbucks!" o kaya "hala pic rin tau dito sa spot na to tulad nila...tska ni...pati...gaya lang tau sa kanila."

ayoko ng ganun. gusto ko yung parang talagang makikitang magbestfriends kami, tulad na lang ng nasa pic sa upper right. o diba? yung talagang worth-remembering, hindi yung basta-basta na lang. nakakainis, hindi ko makita yung time para magawa ko yun. kaya winish ko na lang siya. sana matupad, sana marinig ni Lord. =( naiinggit ako sa mga magbestfriends sa deviantart, yung mga pics nila, talagang enjoy sila sa pics. wala akong pakialam kahit magmukha kaming tanga at di nagiisip sa pic, basta masaya kami sa pic, ok na.

supermega famous people on the cyberspace.

2007-10-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

supermega famous people on the cyberspace.

i agree with my friend jamie when she said that reading celebrities' blogs are worth envying. their lives are awesome, and their material things are to die for. Everybody likes to read and intrude their lives, and yet they hate it all the more. Eyes are getting beady and puffy as they scan through the wonderful pages of each post. yes, it is really to die for, because everybody wants to feel what it's like to be in their shoes.

hmmm. or so i thought.

intrigued with what jeme was talking about, i tried clicking the link of bianca gonzales. she's right, people are right in describing the blog. everything's written, or rather, published there. bianca's ideas,feelings, and thoughts are all laid before my eyes. Pictures seem to wave "hi" to me. dull words come to life as she describe her life in details.

i'm in awe. and as expected, I got envious. I started to think how it feels like to be bianca, to be the "supergirl wannabe". no, i didn't drool over her lifestyle, but how i wish i was in her shoes, just for one whole day.

just for a try.

Then it came to daydreaming. Ooh how I love daydreaming.

For 3minutes, I was staring blankly at the blog of Bianca. Sigh. She is having the time of her life all the time. We see her on the Tv screens. She seems happy with her life; she seems contented. Her life seems perfect, the world conspires in achieving her wants. For a second, I was thinking that she couldn't ask for more.

that's the reason why everyone continues to haunt her blog, her life. Everyone wants a taste of glamor and fame, and indeed they've tasted it, just by reading someone else's blog, particularly a celebrity's blog. They continue to read, because just like me, they continue to dream on, to reach for the stars.

But after those day dreaming and stuff, I came across the idea that I was just reaching for no particular star--I was reaching for innumerable stars. Reaching for them is way too impossible.

I know for a fact that I cannot be like them. But I can be myself.
I'm not against Bianca or any other famous icons, but I guess their shine just doesn't fit me. I realized that, going after them and aspiring to be like them is nothing but plain stupidity. I cannot be like them, that's for sure. I cannot replace Bianca Gonzales as the "dating boarder ni kuya". tss. No way. I can just be like me, just Precien.

Teka, ano ba point netong blog na to?

Drama? Nope.

Self-pity? Neither.

Ewan ko, it's just about being at your best, and living your life to the fullest. We don't have to imitate someone to be happy, neither do we have to get parallel with anybody, be it a celebrity or not.

Bianca is Bianca.
Precien is Precien.
Jeme is Jeme.

I may sometimes envy people, but that's all it is. It's all in the brain. It'll never come to life. I just got to live with it, because im not born to have everything.

nax ang drama nga netong blog na to.anu ba yan.

how to be numb and cold-hearted.

2007-10-23T00:50:00.000+08:00

As i was browsing and deleting and sorting out my txt msgs in my inbox and folders, i came across the text message i sent to mike, my bestfriend. It was dated may 28, 2006, at 1:35am in the morning. I don't remember what we were talking about just before i sent it to him. All I remember was that he ended up asking me this question:

"paano mo nagagawang maging cold-hearted at prangka? ang galing mo, idol kita."

Honestly, I don't intend to be cold-hearted and all, but circumstances call for it. I dunno, but it just comes out naturally. Of course I always feel sorry for what I did in the end. My conscience eats me whole, and I can't help but to feel sorry for the person ofended. But still, I don't feel sorry for what had happened, because, like I said, circumstances call for it. Maybe it's me fault to be that harsh and all, but it's definitely not my fault that it happened, you know, the thing that caught my attention. hmf. anyway.

He was asking me how I was able to be that strong and courageous in standing up for what I think is right. he was amazed by my frankness, and my guts in going against the ideas of other people. He was pretty awed by the way I'm handling situations, and yet others still like me for who I am.

I was shocked by his question, by his comment, because as far as i knew this person, he's the one who's stronger than me, for he had built his own name in school, and he has been known to be sarcastic and frank. We were just the same. what's the big commotion? Oh well. Nevertheless, I answered his question, and I was also shocked with what I told him. here it is:

"Step 1 - say what you have to say. Have no idea left unsaid. Speak your mind, ika nga.

Step 2 - If you've hurt someone and you're guilty, say sorry and mean it. Pero pag alam mong you're right, say sorry parin, pero defend your idea para tagos sa buto niya yung gusto mong sabihin.

Step 3 - Give chances to the people who hurt you, pero tell them what you don't want them to do next time. Para matakot! haha;p

Step 4 - don't be guilty when you know you're right. Besides, you're entitled to your own opinions.

Step 5 - Wag kang magpapadala o matakot sa mga sinasabi ng tao. Basta stay firm to what you said. that's it.

Step 6 - when you say something na you know you're right, make your face look serious. Para matakot sila ulet.;p

shyeeet. ang sadista ko talaga!! bakit ko ba to naisip? san ko napulot yaaan?? oh well. ganun talaga e.ewan ko ba.haha
aun, natuwa naman daw si mike. and sadista ko daw. hmf. parang siya hindi.

saved from getting a 5.0

2007-10-20T02:16:00.000+08:00

"save me from the nothing i've become.."

last wednesday, i was feeling nervous about taking the removals exams on physics 21. one sem has passed, and obviously everything i've learned (or at least, i did?) went down the drainage,down the sink, down the...etc. i havent learned anything at all. no. everything i know about physics was all stock knowledge from 4thyr HS. honestly i'm not learning at all during the 2hrs of stay in that subject of sir tumlos. all that retains in my nutty brain was the phrase sir tumlos keeps on saying: "ok?" "right?". the "right" word is pronounced with a hard T. (cmon try it urself;p) and those were constantly ringing in my ears, even as my eyes droop.

this is what happens everytime-- eat lunch.wait for sir tumlos.perhaps take a nap.sir tumlos arrives.wet and wild.then the boring session begins. ooh lala. eyes drooping. vision blurring. sudden entrance to dreamlandia. slow ticking of the second hand. the only thing that remains clear is the sight of sir tumlos's droopy cheeks, buggy eyes, and his wet-and-wild aura.

ok. back then i thought, if this goes on until the finals, i'm doomed. really doomed. REALLY. big time. and it's true. it did go on like that until the judgment day. i felt sorry for myself. the P1200 i paid for this subject isn't worth it. lugi ako.

i started accepting the fact that i cannot pass this course. bahala na. i started hoping for a passing grade. i cursed myself. i cursed sir tumlos's way of teaching. i cursed his "tall,dark and sweaty" figure. i cursed the subject. i cursed and cursed because that's all i could do. and i pity myself for not being able to catch up with the subject.

that's why last wednesday, i went to school to study physics with aj. there in the library, i tried sooo hard to understand those freakin lessons, but again all i could do was to stare at the handouts. it's just keep on happening, it's the same old theme. i dont get it, no matter how i exert so much effort in doing so. i felt like crying, but no. i can't cry in the library, not with aj around though. it would be awkward to cry in front of a boy classmate.

time flew soo fast; i was still studyng kinematics when the clock striked 4pm. oh God. this is it. im doomed. then God heard my cry. Honey was there in the library, and she told me about the physics lessons they had with sir baclig. yes! at last i've found a crack in the egg! im suddenly coming out of the dumb shell im in! YES!! together with her classmate, they both tried to remember what came out in their exams. i remembered everything they say, everything they've learned, and now i'm learning! at last!=) i photocopied her notes and aj and I went home.

when i got home, i felt so confident i could pass the exam. i didn't immediately study, i watched the news. i ate, then at 9pm, that's the only time i started reviewing. i was happy, because God was good, because Honey was there to help me, because sir baclig was so accomodating and warm. i even slept early that night. then on thurs morning, at 530am, i woke up, feeling no guilt or anything. i was happy.

i just felt neurotic when the exam time approached. this is it. do or die,buddy. but i said, never say die!!

after the exam, i felt numb all the more. i felt jumpy, i couldn't calm myself down. sir baclig said we could check the results at 1pm. i waited.

1pm--it's show time. asta la vista,baby.

i cried when i heard from ate bari that sir baclig told her that none of the students who took the removals passed. of course i couldn't cry so hard, it's not that emotional as when your parents leave. but still. i knew all along that i was going to fail, yet i was clinging on to the hope that i might pass, for the very last time. but my hopes failed me. i was afraid. so scared of what my parents would think of me. i didn't tell them about my standing in physics. so there, i must suffer the consequences.

as bitter as it gets, i can almost taste it.

but no. my hopes failed me, but God didn't. sir baclig told us to mark the questions that we thought sir tumlos didnt teach. although they were only at least 5 questions that were disegarded, i failed. 22. passing was 23.

no. this was not the end of God's saving grace. i accepted it with a heavy heart, and so i approached sir baclig if i could get my test paper and know my score.

sir B: ano kailangan mo? ano name mo?
cien: sir, belen po. kunin ko po sana ung test paper ko.
sir B: hmm..Belen. wala na, pasado ka na.
cien: sir? (NOTE: adrenaline rush at this point. i felt overflowing joy, but i tried to stay calm)
sir B: pasado ka na. ok na.

he was smiling at me. shux. i passed! i swear i heard angels singing hallelujah once again. i didn't know what went on with my grade, but nevertheless, he passed me. that's what matters most.

thanks, sir Baclig, for being the source of my uncontained happiness, for passing me, for being so warm and considerate.

thanks, Lord, for that saving grace i was hoping to receive.

thanks, Honey, for the notes and the recaps. it was such a big help.

thanks, aj, for staying in the library with me, and studying with me. although all we did was to read newspapers, laugh with ella, and sleep, it was such a comforting feeling that i was "dinamayan" during those hours when i sem to lose hope.

thanks, ella, for the laughter that almost got us into trouble with the librarian.

thanks to me, for..for..err..wala lang.

it's trickling down my throat.

2007-10-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

and it's trickling down my throat.

nakausap ko dadi ko ng 21:41 minutes. grabe saya ko. it's been a loooong time since he last called me sa cp ko. and it's the first time na tumawag sya sakin after niya malipat sa Qatar. ewan ko ba, pero pag tinatawagan niya ako, ang saya saya ko.kasi minsan lang nia ako tawagan. lam mo un, kasi sila ate yung lagi niang tinatawagan, cla lang ung lagi niyang kinakamusta,sila lagi ung hinahanap pag tumatawag siya dito sa bahay, e andun naman ako.pwde naman nila ako kausapin at kumustahin.diba?

kaya nga kahit sa saglit na oras na nagusap kami,feel ko ang tagal-tagal na nun. ang sarap ng kinakausap ka, ikaw ung tinatanong, blahblah. sheesh.emo ba ako? hindi rin.

bsta.and now im crying.not because of sadness, but of joy;so much joy. i tried not to let my tears flow, and so i looked up at the ceiling. and its trickling down my throat.

not only when it MATTERS.

2007-10-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

not only when it MATTERS.

bitterness won't lead you anywhere, dear. some people just don't accept defeat. cmon.

everybody knows the UE Red Warriors is the best team. everybody loves the UE Red Warriors. yey. hail to the Red Warriors. hail to Borboran and the rest of the team.

but hey, they lost. the Archers won. its a fair game. the reason for those free throws is because the UE players got too overconfident with what they attained (14-0) in the eliminations. admit it, the whole UE community (or perhaps i thought) anticipated for another victory in the finals. yes, it's but right to expect for that, but too much is never good. yes, the UE Red warriors are one heck of a great dream team. yes, i admit it myself. they are such outstanding players. oh yes. the De La Salle Green Archers or any team are no match to the powerful game the UE can play. i can no longer say more about how good and skillfun they are. what you see is what you get.

but then again, we should also expect for competitive teams ready to fight and grab the spotlight from the UE. we should also expect for aggressive teams determined to win the champs just like the UE Red Warriors. of course, who doesnt want to aim for the victory?

its just a matter of hard work and tactics. oh no, dont get me wrong, i meant tactics for the clean ways to surpass the greatness of the UE players; i meant tactics for the wise moves to prevent the UE players from scoring. is that a dirty play? i dont think so.

for those fouls called, it's not the referees' fault the players got too emotional, or got too aggressive to get under the basket. if it really is the referees' fault that the Archers got away without blemishing themselves with fouls, then i think it's not the Archers to blame, ayt? pity on you, i thought you were pointing a finger to the referees, but as your blog wrapped the issue up, it seems like you're too bitter to hide what you really want to imply in your blog. heck. check your blog for logical fallacies, dear. you're way off your limits.

you're mad, not because of the referees' inconsistency, but because you just lost. you're mad, because of the shame the UE players and the community gained because of the loss after winning 14-0 straight. so sad. i know how it feels to lose in the game you really expected to win. that's how i felt when DLSU lost the champs against FEU tamaraws. i was enraged, my pride deflated. oh yes. but i accepted it, that Arwind Santos is way too great to be defeated in the game.

ACCEPTANCE. yes i understand that you're feeling bitter right now. but we got to understand that the 14-0 win doesnt guarantee much in the finals. the win doesnt guarantee us all that it will go all the way to the championship game. remember, there's always space for improvement for other teams, for the Green Archers. they just practiced hard, that's why they earned what they deserve.

you should've watched the interview with Coach Franz Pumaren after the game 1 last Thursday. it was well-said. he explained everytihng. he too admitted that the UE team is unstoppable. but they made a wise plan to somehow prevent the UE players from hitting the hoops. he didnt say that they are the greater team, he just said that they did all they can to slow down the pace of the game that is fast-paced when the UE is in the court. chill, my friend. let us not hold grudges against one another all because of the game. after all, it's just a game, a school pride, but nothing else. you might want to practice harder for the next season. malay mo, manalo na ang UE diba? but for now, lets give the crown and glory to the green archers=) yehey!!

congrats to the DLSU Green ARCHERS! \(^_^)/ congrats to Jvee Casio and Ty Tang! idol!=)

OFF-TOPIC: this is to test where my loyalty really belongs.haha;p joke lang! sa basketball lang naman e, pero sa lahat nmn ng bagay, we excel, ayt iskolar ng bayan?;)

we just got to understand things as they are. we just got to understand that what goes up,must come down.nyahahaha! *evil laugh*

my temporary sched.

2007-10-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

this is my temporaey sched, or rather, my proposed sched for the next semester. yep.it's not yet official.hmf. i hope it will be.=( i dont want to be late-registered again.

1 74110 CHEM 31 MHC 3 MTh 10:00a-11:30a Lec GAB-306
2 74113 CHEM 31.1 HEJ 2 Th 1:00p-7:00p Lab RH-336
3 75206 COMM III ENG MHB1 3 MTh 8:30a-10:00a Lec RH-231
4 75213 FILIPINO 25 TFG 3 TF 2:30p-4:00p Lec GAB-306
5 75231 HUM II TFC 3 TF 10:00a-11:30a Lec /Lab RH-303
6 74212 NAT SCI 4 TFA 3 TF 7:00a-8:30a Lec GAB-303
7 74250 STS WEG1 3 W 1:00p-4:00p Lec GAB-308
8 75685 PE 2 PHIL G MGI (2) M 3:00p-5:00p Lec /Lab SSWC

OC-ness=)

2007-10-01T21:48:00.001+08:00

me? an OC?

I had the urge to write this blog for two particular reasons: I read Chellie's blog about her being an OC, and this afternoon I saw an OC store in Glorietta where they sell organizers and stuff. and then again i ask myself, OC nga ba ako?

YES?
1. i keep checking if the doors are locked. then i would go outside again to check. and check...
2. i'll never start studying unless the papers and books are neatly piled and stacked in front of me.
3. i'll put my litter on one side of my worktable, or rather, dining table while I eat in between study.
4. I use post-its to remind me of something to do. I use green ones.=)
5. I use the pink highlighter for keywords, and the green one for the details when im reading.
6. in HS, I use expanded file case to sort out my papers for diff. subjects.
7. ~~I arrange my collection of books and novels according to height. but i guess this is a common notion so i'll cross it out.haha~~
8. i sort out txt messages and files on the PC in folders.
9. text groups is VERY useful to me.
20. I hate it when my ballpen is not Pilot supergrip. it is the perfect ballepen for me.
21. I hate it when I dont study my own notes. i love reading my own handwriting, though its dull.
22. i have my own filedrawer to sort out my handouts and files of diff subjects. the color of the drawer indicates the subject, while the level of each drawer indicates the latest handouts.
23. I dont eat if im not on my own seat in the dining table.

24. If i should write my notes, it should be in a single color of ballpen only. pag blue,blue. pag black,black. ayoko ng mala-rainbow ung notebook ko.naiirita akong basahin.

NO?
1. I dont arrange my clothes accdg to colors and sleeves. I just do it once in a cold summer.
2. I dont use rulers to draw a neat and straight line. A rough sketch would do.
3. basta i dont sort out things by its tiniest details, like colors,width,alphabets,numbers,etc.

oo un na yun.

eMO.

2007-09-22T18:44:00.000+08:00

emo concept in deviantart. haha oi di ako emo a, nagagandahan lang ako sa depictions ng emo=)

powerpoints.

2007-09-22T18:37:00.000+08:00

it's all about powerpoints.

haay.i'm having a hard time thinking of what to place in our powerpoint.kainis. it has to be pretty and nice,because our report will be our final paper.hmf. it HAS to be. oh no. im wasting such precious time.

toothfix.

2007-09-21T01:28:00.000+08:00

toothfix.

aun. now it's still 130am pero di pako natutulog.haay nakoo.eto nanaman ako.gising kahit walang gagawin.trip lang.nagsayang ng isang buong gabi para lang sa wala.ay meron pala.haha.buong gabi ko (at ni irish) inisip ang design para sa proposed naming dent shirt. bakit? san namin napulot un idea? where the hell? simple lang. inggitera kasi kami. may nakita ako sa classmate ko sa PI100 na shirt. Polsci sya, at ang nakasulat sa harap ng shirt nia ay isang tumatagingting na

HAYOP AKO.

so ako naman, nagtaka.huh? si ate hayop? gulong gulo ang utak ko until tumalikod siya sakin. and the shirt says

MAN BY NATURE ISA POLITICAL ANIMAL" -- ARISTOTLE

Ahhhhh.yun pala.ASTIG!! shux namangha talaga ako, kaya feel ko napa-nganga ako.pero feel ko lang un. hindi tlga nahulog panga ko. napangiti lang ako. ang cool tlga!! kaya un, sabi ko gusto ko din. naisip ko bigla, bakit kaya ang dent walang maisip na magandang shirt design? at kinausap na nga ako ng konsensya ko or ng alterego ko or nino man. basta may biglang nagsalita sa isip ko ng ganito: wala kasing sikat na dent ang ngqquote about dentistry. ano naman iqquote nun? ngipin ngipin? oo nga no. kaya naisip ko, kung walang quote ang maibahagi ang dent sa kasaysayan, edi design na lang talaga. kaya buong gabi ako ngsearch sa internet ng design. particularly sa deviantart. feel ko kasi marami dung magagandang concepts ng art. sa kasamaang palad, konti lang nkuha ko na babagay sa shirt. marami maganda, pero photography kasi.e poor lang UP para mgpagawa ng shirt na photo un design. (refer to the image on the upper right of this post.) tapos ang naisip kong slogan is:

We don't make toothfairies rich. THEY make us rich.

wow parang ang sama nung pinaparating nung slogan ko.haha. labo ko talaga.

thanks Lord.=)

2007-09-19T21:26:00.000+08:00

yesh..all requirements in PI100 have been moved from sept26 to oct3! yehey! wala lng,jst feel like rejoicing;p

btw, this is me when we went to Banahaw for our PI 1oo trip last sept9. oryt!

qoute unquote.?

2007-09-18T01:41:00.002+08:00

madali maging tao. mahirap ang magpakatao.

wow.anlalim.nax. sa una medyo madali intindihin. mababaw lang. parang pinaglaruan lang un words. pero shux me mas malalim p plang meaning.

oo nga naman, sus. kadaling maging tao. huminga ka lang, tao ka na. maglakad ka lang, tao ka na. magsalita ka lang, tao ka na. magkaroon ka lang ng complicated digestive at circulatory system, huwaw tao ka na. oha. san ka pa. instant. magaral ka lang sa UP, naku, taong tao ka na. may birth certificate ka pa. haha joke;p

pero ang magpakatao? hmf. mga lalaking umiihi sa pader. pagpapakatao ba un? mga ilan na nagkakalat na kala mo lilinisin un pala hindi. pagpapakatao ba un? pambabastos sa mga ideyolohiya ng tao. pagpapakatao ba un? pagmumura sa isang kaibigan. pagpapakatao ba un? di ko lang alam.

2007-09-15T01:15:00.000+08:00

Dear 5 year-old Precien,

Oh hello. It’s been so long since I’ve got carried away by the waves of the past. Time is running too fast; everything’s changing, from the way I were you to the way I’m now.

I remember when I was you thirteen years back. You and I, or simply us, we always had the time of our lives, being taken cared for, being pampered, and being carefree. Being oblivious was fun in a way, because you and I didn’t have to worry about anything, except for the milk gone and the melted ice cream. I remember you and I were boasting in front of the class about the Cream-O we had for recess. That was how we define happiness—a pack of cookies prepared for us by our moms. How I wish I’d be like you again.

But still, I wouldn’t want to go through everything, what it’s like to be juvenile. There are bitter moments which I wouldn’t want to experience again, because for me, once is enough. Memories are worth keeping; it’ll always remind me of the happiness and hurt, but that’s all they are now. Things will never be the same again. So while you’re still young, my dear alter ego, learn to accept, gratify, and sometimes, to swallow pride and tears. Of course, it would be difficult for you to comprehend what I’m telling you now, but when time comes that you’ll be able to stand up on your own and lean on your own understanding, I hope you’d learn from my mistakes, and excel in everything you do.

Remember, there are no rewinds, so take it slow and easy, but make sure of everything you do. And oh, stay happy always.

Love from someone who knows your worth,
18-year old Precien

people change.haay.

2007-09-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

people really change. bakit ganun? is college the basis of change? well, duh, unpredictable ang change, it occurs naturally. pero.haay.ano baaaa.

my bestfriend has changed. i dunno.but really. kala ko hindi. ayoko maniwala. dati pa nila sinasabing nagbago na siya. last year pa. nakikita ko rin sa friendster ung mga pics na somewhat "evidence" na there's change. pero ayoko paniwalaan ang akong mga mata, dahil i have to see it for myself in personal.gusto ko siya kausapin about this pero bka mahurt sya or maoffend or what. baka sabihan pa nia akong walang kwentang bestfriend. bakit gnun? sinabi na rin sakin mismo ng kaibigan ko, na classmate ng ate ng bestfriend ko (sheesh sorry for the complication, im just refraining from uttering her name, for privacy narin, baka mabasa nia eh) na bumabagsak na grades nia dahil sa pa-bar-bar nia pati pagiging partay girl nia. cmon, lets have partay. ung parents nia,nagrereklamo na dahil sa pinag-gagagawa nia sa buhay nia. is this some influence of peers? nape-peer pressure ba siya? or baka ginusto nia to? i dunno. who knows? she's not telling me. one thing na hindi ko matanggap. i min, what are bestfriends for? do i have to figure it out for myself that she's gone like that? am i too far to reach or am i too blind to see? bakit? alam kong hindi lahat dapat ireport sa bestfriend.i know that. she has every right to keep some things to herself. pero sheesh ang sakit. oh no. drama queen. pero talaga, eto tlga nraramdaman ko. o diba. naiba lang ng cellular network, parang ang layo na ng mundo namin. one text lang yan, hindi magawa.oo, kasalanan ko rin. di ako nakikipagcommunicate.pero i have reasons. busy sa school, at butas ang bulsa. pero siya? why,andami niyang supply ng load.she's given all her needs. one text lang.please. i know im being too demanding, pero di ko tlga magets kung bakit gnun siya. nang dahil sa ugali, napunta pa tuloy sa text.damn that text.

aun. un lang guto ko i-point out. why that sudden change? i thought u are a Christian? u came from a good family, your needs are given adequately. di ka supressed. pero dont go beyond the limit. remember, lahat ng tao nagsasawa. have you forgotten about me? about our friendship? T_T sheesh. nang dahil dito napostpone pa tuloy ang paggawa ko ng film review sa fil50. haay. sana di tuluyang malayo ang distance namin. i min, ung friendship namin. yun lang tlga. at sana di bumagsak grades mo, kasi i know ur a smart girl. i hope u'll never let ur parents down, and so am i. proud akong naging bestfriend kita, pero please, prove me wrong. please get me wrong. for crying out loud. sana those are all rumors.

oh Lord please sana di nia mabasa to. T_T pero i cant help it, i have to have an outlet. and for those na nababasa to and knows the person im pertaining to, please, lets all keep it a secret in the shadows. ayokong umabot sa kanya to,ayoko na ito ang reason para magaway kami. tama na na nasabi ko na lahat dito.un lang.thanks.

and yet again another day for cien.

2007-09-14T22:53:00.000+08:00

this is it. the month of soooo many requirements to do and to pass. yeah. i'm liking it really, and to think im that sarcastic. the thought of me being an iska is now sinking slowly into my bottomless brain. it finally slapped me on the forehead. wake up, cien. UP kna, panindigan mo.

anyway. kuya lord calls me isang daang taon for some reason. kasi naman, we discussed Rizal's works in PI 100 and there's this Filipinas dentro de Cien Anos. o diba. Ang Pilipinas sa darating na Sandaang Taon. so clearly, that explains where kuya lord got that crazy idea of calling me sandaang taon. how cute. maybe i should change my favorite number from 24 to 100. coolness.

Phil.Institution 100 = Precien 100

ang labo.